Borderline in family

[littlelake]

Hi all

I am a 28 yr old student and my mother in law has BPD, and my deceased aunt and grandmother also had BPD. I find it interesting that I have always been surrounded by people with these tendencies and then I choose to marry into a family that are dealing with the same issues!

I think my mother's patterns of behavior, needing to feel needed and seeking [url=https://bpdfamily.com/content/communication-skills-validation]validation[/b][/url] through that but not dealing with her own emotions, is something I have started to copy and I hope that through learning about BPD I can also learn how to deal with my issues and emotions rather then focusing on BPD personalities.

My mother in law is going through hell at the moment and she has no awareness of how her behaviour affects others or the fact that she needs help. I really hope that I can learn to cope with her without getting sucked into her world. Being with her is difficult and it is a constant struggle to not let her wind me up, because the minute I do, all hell breaks loose !

If anyone has any tips on how to deal with the drama then I would love to hear them.

Sofie

[scallops]

Dear Little

welcome to the site... . I am sure there are many here that can give you advise and support. I think that is probably the most important thing that I have here and has helped me in the most trying times.

I would suggest you read this article... . https://bpdfamily.com/tools/articles4.htm

I think it is important to try and educate yourself in how to interact with a pwBPD... . I like the book "overcoming BPD by Valerie Porr... . it really has helped me.

Here is another article... . https://bpdfamily.com/content/how-to-get-borderline-into-therapy

I hope you feel welcomed here and will keep posting

[GeekyGirl]

Hi littlelake and welcome! 

It's great that you're learning about BPD, although I'm sorry that you're dealing with issues with your mother and MIL. The good news is that you can develop skills to better deal with their behavior. You've found the right place for support!

What similarities do you see between your MIL and your relatives with BPD? Have you found any strategies that help you cope with her behavior so far?

I agree with scallops that learning how to interact with someone with BPD will be helpful, and you may find in the process that you can look at your own behavior and better yourself. Learning about BPD can be a very eye-opening experience.

There are some excellent lessons here to help you work on your relationship with your MIL and also strengthen yourself, and I encourage you to stick around. This is also a good place to connect with others who understand what you're going through.

Welcome again, and I look forward to seeing you around here!

-GG