I agree with Mango Flower.
Many people hold the "mythical" belief that once married they will be happy, whole, acceptable, validated and normal once they cross the threshold of marriage. You don't have to be BPD to have this culturally conditioned ingrained belief.
In the case of your NPD/BPD rushing into marriage it may be his way of securing a permanent source of supply so that he doesn't have to go shopping for it as often.
What
won't be the case is that marriage will cure his mental illness. He isn't getting married to be a good husband or a quality partner. Respect will not magically appear and happiness will not endure. If anything... . marriage will trigger his narcissism more profoundly because the projection of ugly only gets more intense with familiarity. They are miserable tortured souls and they need bodies to blame. Who not better to blame for your inner ugly than your wife or your husband?
On the receiving end of that will be the person who is wedded to this man. Not good. Not good at all. And nothing to be envious of.
I do think on some level they get weary of the cycles of damaging experiences they tend to accumulate so marriage can be viewed as some kind of "hope in a jar" cure all. Perhaps the "for better or for worse" vows make them hopeful that someone will somehow desire to stay with them in spite of their severe shortcomings due to their mental illness.
My BPD/NPDexbf wanted to be married for
supply. It was never about me, growing together in unconditional love, respect and admiration, or having a desire to please and live in happiness.
It was and always will be about securing permanent supply. To me marriage is the perfect hiding place for a mentally ill person to appear normal.
Hope this helps.
