New girlfriend, his mental health and his suidice attempt -two innocent children

[awomanlearning]

I know i know his not my concern but we have two young children together and he attempted suidice 6 days ago i dont know the details know he was in hospital his 3 hours ways so dont have details. Anyways havent heard from him deciede like a complete fool to text the girlfriend who told me o is this how its going to be checking up on him, you insecure, when told her his past attempt with no concern for his daughter when he tried to take his life her response- im living in the past. Oh it angers me that this person thinks she knows the depths he can go to when the darkness comes over him that no one exsists even when i was standing right there he was still forcing pills down his throat his pain was all he cared about and getting rid of it nothing else mattered.

I know his not my concern his with someone else accept and move on but we have children that is my concern them not me im adult yes going to through a difficult emotional turmoil dealing with the break up of our marriage etc but that isnt the concern now his stablity is i need him alive so i never have to tell my children sorry daddy is dead and have them lose a father they adore because they have no idea what is going on. For the rest of their lives they will be reminded their father is dead, fathers day no father, his birthday no father, xmas no father if his with her happy and content they have a father part time but they will have a father less emotional damage than if his dead.

Any of you out there lost a father/mother not from suidice but because things unfortunatly happened how does that  feel knowing others have a father/mother you dont, do you dream of what fathe/mother could have been like? do you look at other children with fathers/mother and wish you still had yours? Do you imagine what he/she would tell you as you grew up? These are the things that plague me how do i fill that gap.

We are here because our parents, children, lovers, husbands, brothers, sisters have a mental illness, we are grasping for answers to live but we ok with those people killing themselves and our mental health and the mental health of those close to us to be tanted and warped because they lost a love one. This makes no sense to me that we ok about picking up the pieces for years to come because we left the chose of life or death in the hands of a person mentally ill person who has no idea what is reality to make that decision. Is it right to say its your life your choice when they cant see reality where is the choice when all they see is black how can they deciede if they themselves cant hold themselves together?