splitting

[qwaszx]

just wondering, did anyone else think "who the hell is this" when there family member with BPD split them for the first time?

Cuz thinking back, i didnt recognize her as my friend, more as a stranger who id never met before... . the change was so drastic, and i mean everything changed. her image, her personality, her mannerism, the way she spoke, dressed, ate, was, her expressions, etc, everything.

i was just so shocked, stund, i was like(in my head) wth just happened, who are you? your not like this  did anyone else wonder if they had DID? cuz i was so lost... .

was anyone else extremely shocked.

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[jollygreen]

Yes same thing happened to me with BPD ex though. It was like everything inside and about her was someone I never met before. The woman I fell in love with for three years was no longer inside her body. I recall thinking to myself the last two times I ever saw her "who is this person and where did that amazing girl go that I would do anything for?"

[sjm7411]

Yes, and I become scared of what my BPh will say or do for about a day or two (or sometimes three).  Then he snaps back into a sane person.  Now that I know he has this disorder and understand what's going on a little more, I think it will help me to not feel so panicked when it happens.  I can do some self-talk, like "OK he is going through another irrational rage, time to use the tools I've learned"... . easier said than done of course. 

[qwaszx]

my exprance is more like yours, sjm7411, at least thats how it used to be before she moved  back home, now shes just always on "red zone" or feeling dead inside... . but before she'd go about 3days where i was just afraid to say anything to her, because everything set her off, but after those 3days, to a week we would start getting back to "normal" emotional ways... . and yes very much easyer said then done... . that very first time was scary though... .

[rj47]

just wondering, did anyone else think "who the hell is this" when there family member with BPD split them i was just so shocked, stund, i was like(in my head) wth just happened, who are you? your not like this  did anyone else wonder if they had DID? cuz i was so lost... .

10 years of progressively worse transformations and I am still dismayed. When the "demon" shows everything changes in seconds; body language, facial expressions, vocal tonality, volume and language instantly change. When the filth starts filling the airspace its a crushing oppression. I know its purely a behavioral matter, but the label helps me to isolate the behavior into something separate from the person I loved. Years ago when it was occasional, the splitting behavior would stun me like a wack across the face with a bat. Being in denial I wanted only to remember and cleave to the amazing person I had known from our youth. Until I learned about BPD I thought maybe there was some kind of multiple personality disorder at work. Now I simply try to learn, understand, moderate the response, protect, and, not internalize it. I wonder how long it will be before the person I love will return, or, if the demon will simply withdraw and wait for some small trigger to emerge again. In my case , I had no choice but to anticipate the various layers of the demon's personality... . as it literally began to take a bat to my face and other forms of violence. The shock and awe response to the spitting was "learned" over many years. I'm finally beginning to counter and "unlearn" the response as I unfortunately have to spend more time with the demon than the angelic person I once knew.

Its a bit