it´s my birthday and she of course texted me

[tomjon78]

Well it´s my birthday and I got the following text.

Dear Tomjon, I wish you happy birthday, have a great day and remember life is too short for not to enjoy it. I know it´s been tough recently but just remember this. Best regards, BPD ex.



Well I was actually with my Therapist when I got it. It´s a pretty strange text but maybe not. I really don´t care. I just remember my birthday with her last year which was amazing and planned by her. But anyway. It hurts just a little bit to get a text from her after she has gotten all the hints I don´t want contact.

In therapy today, we talked about that I´m doing the right things. We won´t have to talk about her being BPD or not. We just have to concentrate to let this fade out maybe slowly but surely. I actually told me also not to be too much on the board here. He has been suportive for me to get help her. But also to give me time to move away from the BPD world and thinking of her and try to motivate myself for positive things.

Also our main aim is for me to get better rest and sleep. He agrees it´s a sympton of post traumatic  which I´m dealing with. I know all the answers, I´ve processed all what was going on in our relationship. It´s time to leave it. The only thing is that we are hoping she will let go contacting me.

I just have to remember. This relationship was not healthy at all.

I feel a little bit better again. But It will just take time.

[huhhuh]

My exBPD did the same after the breakup.

I think she did it to convince both me and herself that she is not evil.

I don't know what the best way of reacting would be. It's a loose/loose situation.

If you write her back "thank you", her ego will be stroked because she will know that she got your attention.

If you ignore the text, her ego will be stroked because she will think you are bitter and angry and that she is the sane person who has the curtsey of being polite to somebody on their birthday.

[MarcinN7]

My exBPD did the same after the breakup.

I think she did it to convince both me and herself that she is not evil.

I don't know what the best way of reacting would be. It's a loose/loose situation.

If you write her back "thank you", her ego will be stroked because she will know that she got your attention.

If you ignore the text, her ego will be stroked because she will think you are bitter and angry and that she is the sane person who has the curtsey of being polite to somebody on their birthday.

The best way to respond is delete and not to think how her ego feels. You have given to much of your sanity and kindness already.

Try to focus on yourself for a change

[babyducks]

Happy Birthday Tomjon!

Hang in there and do something special for yourself!

More ice cream maybe?

[Validation78]

Happy Birthday Tomjon!

Let's celebrate the first day of a new year that will focus on peace and a healthy path for you!

I second the ice cream!

Best Wishes,

Val78

[laelle]

Happy Birthday Tomjon! 

[slimmiller]

She just wants space in your head.

Dont give it to her, instead do something for 'you'


Happy birthday!

[willtimeheal]

Delete it!

Happy Birthday!

[tomjon78]

Thanks everybody... . actually I had a great day... . I decided not to let this get to me too much and had a fantastic day with my family and kids.

One big step towards happiness again I hope 

[seeking balance]

Thanks everybody... . actually I had a great day... . I decided not to let this get to me too much and had a fantastic day with my family and kids.

One big step towards happiness again I hope 

Happy Birthday!  Glad your kids and family were there with you.

Cheers!