to lilttle to late?

[simplyasiam]

6 years with a girl thats suers rom BPD bipolar2 and deperssin disorder. i only new about the depression before last year and thats the same time she found out about the others. she never really been treated for anything other than depression. the depression is the ez part for me as a care giver to deal with seem to come naturale what to do for someone that so down and hurt. its the leaving and changing into some i dont know that hard to deal with. how could love me one week and want move the next... . same story as many ppl have here... . the waif.

ive always stood by her no matter what but didnt know what i was dealing with and im still not sure what fuels her leaving blacking me out and coming back... . more than 10 times

she gone again now 60 days 2nd longest ever and at the 11 day point of no contact ofcorse she been with newb/f from day she left. call him in front of me told him im going back to shane. was only here 3 days.

anyway the real reason im posting this is i dont know what study here has i dont know if she will come around again. this has been a big blow up for her, she stoped talking to mom stepdad brother and me. i feel she may have moved past me now but i dont know forsure. i care for her alot and would work with her in anyway but if she done i should just work on understanding how to get over this i dont want her kids living this life. ive learned alot about BPD and bipolar in the past few weeks. im trying to care for myself 1st i go to a therapist and im finding myself again but still have alot of ups and downs. as far as i know i can do nothing to bring her back till shes ready... . ill not break nocontact as im sure she will see that as weak. im not giving in this time no matter how hard it gets. i wonder to myself if shes doing the same thing? the frist time i went no contact with her she lasted 7 days and was on my door step wanting to come back... . 3 days. maybe she just working past her fears of being without me maybe im blacked out who know?

sorry for rambeling my brain is still in over drive alot of the time.

any input from anyone would be great thanks

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[elessar]

Hi there,

I am sorry to hear you are going through so much. Sadly (or is it?) she will most likely contact you. 6 years together has been a long time. i have been with my ex on and off for last 8 yrs. technically we have been dated for about a year. she disappeared for 4 yrs in between. zero contact in those 4 yrs. last two years she has "broken up", but our relationship is exactly the same except that she can do "single girl" stuff whenever she wants. i am glad you are working on yourself. my relationship with my ex has been very good since march after i spent a few months teaching myself about BPD. have not had a single fight since then. before that fights would happen every 2-3 weeks. i guess the best way was to never challenge her, always validate her, and never do/act/say anything that might even remotely feel like criticizing her.

i want her back, just like you do. i think i can make her better. you will do anything for her. we all hope that. i think honest answer is, there is nothing we can do. unless they themselves decide their life is so bad that they need help, there is nothing we can do. and we are kind of not helping them by being there for them. i know, it sounds opposite. but for example, without me she has no one in this world she is close to. she never had. so all her emotions and problems are dumped on me while she enjoys the rest of her life. if i am not there, maybe she will find another victim, but maybe she will take a deep hard look into herself and go for help. so be there for her if she really needs something, as a good human being. but don't put yourself down to bring her back. in the end, if she doesn't want help or think she needs, there is nothing in the universe you can do to fix it.

[simplyasiam]

im not and really have never tried to fix her. i take her for who she is troubles and all. just didnt think our life together would end this way but i see it may have been the only way it could have ended.

we never really fite with each other only time we ever yelled would be at the end of the break ups.  i know we see thing diffrent alot, if we did see eye to eye on the smallest of things she would call it a huge fite, but no real fiting ever care from it.