other than contact?

[simplyasiam]

hello again. as im sure some of you have read here im a little mixed about im feeling at this point. ive working on a few of the lesson links and working on myself.

just want to ask what some of you think i should as far as geting back with my ex and things i should not do. im almost sure me making 1st contact will go bad as she always turns away from that.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[jollygreen]

This is my opinion and in no way fact or would work in your situation. So knowing that, my exBPD after the first year asked me if we were still in the honeymoon phase of our relationship and I told her no and that we are now comfortable and growing with each other as a couple. She took this very hard and was depressed/turned off and that's when the seducer BPD phase ended and clinger stage began.

So now after that, I believe they want that honey moon phase back. Meaning whatever you did to woo him/her back then is what they are looking for if they haven't already found a new suitor to do that. So if you left notes on their car, surprised them at work with flowers, wrote them songs, whatever, that's what they are looking for. They want the Disney romance they saw as children and want it to last forever. Truth is that's not real life.

Towards the end my BPDex asked me to write her a song several times. I hadn't played guitar for a while and it's not special when they ask for it. So had I bent over backwards and done all the things she asked, maybe we'd be together still. But there were other issues involved that broke my trust where I didn't want to play her games any more. Hope this helps.