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[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

I have read of some folks here receiving a text out of the blue from their ex (hi). I received such a text today from a cell phone number I do not recognize. It said, "Hey wats up." it was spelled just like this. I replied, "Who is this?" and of course just got silence. There is no way really to say this was my ex, rather than just some bored kid, but the wording and spelling are soo him. Has anyone else received a communication like this that you can't definitively tie to your ex? To me, this is like the hang up calls from a blocked number.

[Blessed0329]

I have read of some folks here receiving a text out of the blue from their ex (hi). I received such a text today from a cell phone number I do not recognize. It said, "Hey wats up." it was spelled just like this. I replied, "Who is this?" and of course just got silence. There is no way really to say this was my ex, rather than just some bored kid, but the wording and spelling are soo him. Has anyone else received a communication like this that you can't definitively tie to your ex? To me, this is like the hang up calls from a blocked number.

[FogLight]

Yes, absolutely.  I have received several random texts from strange numbers.  Sometimes she will use a fake name, or call me by a fake name as if it was a wrong number, and after not responding for months she finally asked "is this (my name)".  I recognized a couple of the numbers because she had used them with me in the past and I made it a point to save them, but they are all her distinct writing style.  Now she just calls, always at weird hours, usually before I'm awake.

I received a call from one of the numbers early in the morning a couple of days ago, and about 30 minutes ago she pulled in my driveway and sat in her car while I was outside.  I just sat and watched her for a minute while she watched me until she pulled away.  This is after over 7 months of being dead silent to her, and a bit over a year of never having seen me (that I know of.)  I don't really know what to think of it, except that it's mildly amusing that her current man is probably funding the gas and cell phone she uses for stalking me.

Typically, I'll just save the number and assign it a really funny name that I'll most likely forget.  This way I'm at least entertained whenever she decides to rent headspace, and that pretty much cured any anxiety I initially felt in the first months of post breakup contact from her.

Oh, and my BPDex actually would contact me from her own number for months until I finally responded.  She tried to play the false hope game, I didn't bite, she felt rejected and sent one last temper tantrum text and said she was changing her number.  That's when all the strange numbers began showing up.  Best thing to do is ignore and just keep on keepin on.

[Blessed0329]

Fog Light, how long were you involved with your ex? You know these little attention-getters make me feel like he and I are back in elementary school, and he is throwing acorns at me, then running behind a tree to see my reaction.

[FogLight]

We were together almost 6 years, except for the intermittent brief breakups.  After that, I've almost learned what to expect from her, she's played most of her cards.  I had a gut feeling she would be contacting me soon, considering her wild child just got out of school for the summer and now her new fling would get really stressful for the new guy.  But her showing up in my driveway today was a total curveball.  I hope her new fling didn't fall apart before she could find her next one, I know how persistent she can be.

Anyway, let him play with his acorns, he most likely just wants to feel like you're still around.  I know my BPDex has a lot of trouble truly letting anyone go.  She would talk about her exes like they were the enemies, but I think she took a lot of comfort in at least knowing they were still there.  Facebook served that purpose for her with most people she had fallen out with, and she was always really interested in hearing about her exes through mutual friends.  We have no mutual friends, and I don't use fb so I guess she's resorted to weird calls and staring contests in my driveway... . which I won by the way 

There's no knowing 100% why they do what they do.  I doubt even they know half the time.  The best thing to do is ignore it, forget it, and focus on your own life rather than drive yourself mad trying to unravel crazy.

[asher2]

For months after we broke up, I received texts from numbers I did not recognize. At first I would reply because I didn't think anything of it... . it never occurred to me it could be my ex. But once it dawned on me that it could very likely be her, I stopped replying to the "Hey what's up?" or "How are you doing?" texts. I didn't want to continue to feed the monster.

And as FogLight said, who knows why they do what they do. As you said, it's childish to do this. I've posted before that I came home one time from a meeting at night and I'm almost positive I saw her car speeding off from where I live. Was it her? I think so, but I don't know for sure. Where the texts from her? I'm willing to bet they were, but I don't know for sure. But I learned a long time ago that you just can't figure out why they do the things they do and trying to do so will make your head go in circles and exhaust you.

My advice is to let it be and ignore it as best as you can.