I hate the way I'm feeling

[Tired68]

I feel so alone right now, I am up and down.  I have no parents left , my brother and I dont talk we never did have a good relationship. My friends are prob tired of hearing me talk about the same stuff. 7 years together married last year. She did me dirty 3 years ago I forgave and then 3 weeks ago caught her again lying and it was with the same guy. She left I have not heard from her, and her stuff is still there. She hasn't reached out to say anything! I'm sorry , kiss my butt nothing! I feel like a shell, without existence. Why ... . I go home see our house think of her, see her things think of her. Just did laundry and washed her stuff too. I am crushed and feel like I can't breathe without her , that is messed up, god help me... .

[Lady31]

Tired,

I am SO sorry you are dealing with this.  I was just thinking how thankful I was for my fam because I so need them right now.  I left my H and am temporarily staying with my parents until I figure out what I want to do next - I also have 5 siblings and we are very close.  When I was thinking about this it crossed my mind how hard it must be for those who don't have family or don't have family close by.

I feel for you!  How difficult and gut wrenching that is.  Sometimes I wish we had meetups for this type of thing.  We wouldn't have to put on a happy face and front.  We could be ourselves and support each other and it would be just fine that we looked like our heart was just ripped to tiny shreds.

[Tired68]

That would be great if we had meet up groups. I really need it. I am just so up and down and so alone. Everyone has there own life and I just happened to make her my whole world.

[Validation78]

Hi Tired!

 Many of us here can really relate to the way you feel. You are dealing with some really tough stuff, and trying to make a go of it on your own makes it that much more difficult, I'm sure.

I encourage you to seek out a close friend who will not judge and will support you, even if you sound like a broken record. If you don't know anyone like that, have you considered getting into therapy? It helps to be validated by someone who understands that a breakup with a pwBPD is not like other breakups!

The other thing I think is helpful is spending more time taking care of yourself. Treat yourself like you matter more than anything, because you do. You have the ability to make getting better your priority by putting your needs above all others. Exercise, eating well, getting proper rest, hanging out with positive friends, pursuing fun activities, anything that stimulates your mind and body will be a great way to move on with your life! You have more power than you think!

Best Wishes,

Val78