Got my closure; not from her.

[recoil]

Someone from the forum recommended I read The Buddha and the Borderline.  I found it very fascinating.  It gave me the ability to see our "relationship" from disordered eyes, as the author of the book reminds me greatly of my ex and spoke about her interactions in multiple relationships.

Reading this had a tremendous side effect; it killed my false hope.  I finished the book last Tuesday.

Last night, I had a dream.  My ex was journaling and left her book outside the office.  A fellow coworker, for some reason, gave it to me (it's a coworker that isn't fond of her).  I didn't know what it was and opened it up to a random page.  The page was in her handwriting and listed points that were here issues.  The one that I remember the most:  The lie was me (herself).

In the dream, I closed the journal, not needing to read anymore.  It would appear that subconsciously, I consider this chapter done in my life.  I have thought of her minimally all week.

I was able to get my "understanding" from reading that book.  I think I was obsessing over trying to understand.  Now I "know".  Now I "get it".  My mind appears to be at peace.

[clover528]

I am almost half way through this same book. It really does give a view from the inside. I am happy it has helped you get closure. I am hoping i can come to some peace at some point in the future.

[HardTruth]

Recoil - That's great!  Thank you for the book recommendation.  I'm going to see if I can get it from the library.