i have was she had

[simplyasiam]

my exwBPD suffered from anxiety depression mood swings low self esteem trouble geting out of house sleeping for days at a time poor judgement impulsive behavior/buying black and white thinking blaming other for troubles risky sex and im sure so other things.

would like to know two things how on earth am i now suffering from most of these thing and how did she seeming just get over them?

[willtimeheal]

I can totally related. When I first met my ex BPD I was fun outgoing... . happy. I did have depression but I was  treated for it and doing really well. I was actually in a great place in my life and I felt great. Now my depression is back, my anxiety is so high I shake, I want to sleep all day, and I could careless about getting out of the house. She on the other hand seems to be living large with her new bf. I go to therapy weekly. It's whacked. I know!

[danley]

I too can relate. When I first met my ex I was outgoing, carefree, grounded, and always smiling. Nothing and nobody could hold me back. I think this is what my ex loved about me as he frequently would say he loved my spirit.

After putting up with my ex and his issues with himself I began to notice changes in myself. I wasnt the same. I felt trapped with complying and adjusting to his moods. It was killing the best parts of me. After he ended things I was on a mission to gettinf back to my true self. Ive been seeing lots of things return to normal. I no longer let the small stuff sweat me. Been going out and doing things that I want to. Have been laughing and smiling more with ease. I feel more secure in myself because I have not been with my ex 24/7. His attitude and issues were bringing me down. A few months ago I told him im not going to let him drag me down with him anymore. Ive been keeping my word.

I will admit that there are times when I think about what my ex is doing on his own time and with whom. But it only brings me down and I realize that I have lots to be happy about currently. The shift in my attitude and revealing of my true self is evident. People at work have noticed and im sure my ex has too. Hes been in a better mood and has been reaching out in ways that he used to when we were on good terms. But I am cautious. I dont want to lose the momentum I have just to have it crushed. Its true that you want what you cant have. That was a prison for me as I wanted my ex back but he chose to dump me and flurry about with himself and told me he was talking to someone else even tho he said he didnt want a relationship. I reached a point where I felt like SCREW HIM and basically stopped vying for his attention. Now the tables are turned and hes probably noticing the changes in me and my behavior. Trust me when I say that the changes are for ME and not him. But it feels good to not be the one whos doing the chasing.

I dont think its unusual for you to experience depression. I believe your ex is still fighting things within but has the ability to forgo boundaries as well as the normal healing process. Once they have something to distract them, they use it as driving force to appearing and thinking their miraculously healed. But theyre not. Theyre master disguisers and will do anything to not face their demons. You feeling depressed is normal and is a sign that you are healing and grieving. It would be abnormal if you just got over it suddenly like your ex. It means that you invested in someone you loved and cared for and are grieving the loss.

[simplyasiam]

i dont know how they change like they do.

really makes me wonder if she will slip back into depression and try and recycle me again at some point will she go back to her kids father shes never went back to him before but had talked about it. the guy she with now shes left two time to return to me so i quess you would call that recycling him, not really sure on that one.

i kinda feel when the new comes off this new guy and the bills add up on her, i know they will as she only get 700 a month on ssi she will try a big move to get out of where ever she has herself at that point what the move will be who knows.