invitation to a wedding-she will be there

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

I know some of you have been following my story for a few months. I´m feeling a little better now and have had NC for 3 weeks now.

I got an invitation to a wedding to our mutual friend who has invited me to her wedding. Me and my ex are both invited and I really don´t trust myself going there. The wedding is in the end of august, but I have to answer the invitation as soon as I can.

Actually these people who are getting married are good friend for the both of us but from seperate friend groups.

Should I go or not! I just don´t think I can take a day with her in the same room?

[tomjon78]

I know some of you have been following my story for a few months. I´m feeling a little better now and have had NC for 3 weeks now.

I got an invitation to a wedding to our mutual friend who has invited me to her wedding. Me and my ex are both invited and I really don´t trust myself going there. The wedding is in the end of august, but I have to answer the invitation as soon as I can.

Actually these people who are getting married are good friend for the both of us but from seperate friend groups.

Should I go or not! I just don´t think I can take a day with her in the same room?

[lockedout]

This is where you can find out if they're actual friends or mere acquaintances. If they're friends, they'll understand without you having to explain as to why you don't want to be around your ex for a whole day. When they're honeymoon is over and they've settled in, they'll take the initiative to make plans with you and maybe go the extra few yards since you couldn't make it to their wedding. Acquaintances will either be indifferent, possibly offended, and probably align exclusively with your ex. If you can handle going, more power to you, but if you can't you should at least follow up your RSVP with a phone call to the one you know better, explaining why you can't go.

I haven't been following your story, but this is probably no better time to take inventory of what you have as far as relationships go. I sacrificed my whole identity when I met her and by the time I left, the only relationships I had were the ones through marriage. Mutual acquaintances. Even a husband of a couple who I bailed out by standing up for his wedding when his preferred groomsman bailed on him (a couple very long drives and quite a bit of money for me) has been incommunicado. The white board was erased when I left 6 months ago. I'm either reconnecting with people I lost touch with years ago  or starting from scratch.

If they can't stay your friends because you couldn't make it to their over-priced party, they're not your friends.