not good at validating at all

[Wanda]

 I am not good at validating at all due to my husband being high functioning i don't need to validate alot.

well tomorrow he leaves for a week he was all ready to go. excited to go, then we got in a fight due to finacial some my fault and i apologized for that. to many changes to fast for him. so now he is reconsidering this job, wants to hold it off a week keep looking, when he told them he,d go this week

the worst part is working nights 9 till 5 or 6 am. he does't like these hours but it is a foot in the door. of coarse blamming me due to i am the reason he took the job, i told him instead of lieing he needs to tell them the truth, he wants to call tell them he is sick.   he is starting to get that separation anxiety... . darn it if he goes like this he will set him up to fall. i want to call his mom so she can support him to but i think she has BPD also and she will be no help. if he goes he will come home due to setting himself up... . darn now what?  :'( :'(  

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[shamrock]

"no need to validate" only if you are living on island alone!

Validation is a skill we all need to use in our every day life, just maybe not as obviously.

Your H needs validation now as he is uptight about the trip & therefore every little setback becomes monumental  Validation would help him to see real ,maybe, reason he is distressed

[Wanda]

  i just need him to  leave... . now he is bhiting just to bhit he apprehensive about going.

and validation wouldn't work anyway, i give him some but i just need to listen. and hope he leaves. but this has happened before he goes out of state to train then comes home to much time alone.

HE is with a good company and yes he has to take the hit run at first to get in. but soon he will go days i am sure. he always say these hours are better then this job... . true but then go... .

i think once the kids go which he now bhites alot about them not his job. i will leave to get things done that needs to be done, letting him do this alone he just needs to do this and stop bhiting to me wears me down.  

[Wanda]

yey!

he is gone and in a much better mood,  when he would say i really don't want to go i told him i understood but if i was him i'd go due to  more money and better benefits and i would enjoy it. anyway seemed by the time he was to leave he left in good spirits... . now just to get him through this week. hopefully he doesn't get some stupid thoughts he knows really he has no choice after three and a half months. of unemployment and no bits and if they were they wern,t good. 

For him being a recovered alcoholic change is hard, he would go to AA meeting Wednesday might not be able to if have to work. but you have to what is needed to live.

now for me party party party no one everyone is gone my kids went to colorado, and now my husband is gone and i am on vacation so well