Diagnosis + Treatment
The Big Picture
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? [ Video ]
Five Dimensions of Human Personality
Think It's BPD but How Can I Know?
DSM Criteria for Personality Disorders
Treatment of BPD [ Video ]
Getting a Loved One Into Therapy
Top 50 Questions Members Ask
Home page
Forum
List of discussion groups
Making a first post
Find last post
Discussion group guidelines
Tips
Romantic relationship in or near breakup
Child (adult or adolescent) with BPD
Sibling or Parent with BPD
Boyfriend/Girlfriend with BPD
Partner or Spouse with BPD
Surviving a Failed Romantic Relationship
Tools
Wisemind
Ending conflict (3 minute lesson)
Listen with Empathy
Don't Be Invalidating
Setting boundaries
On-line CBT
Book reviews
Member workshops
About
Mission and Purpose
Website Policies
Membership Eligibility
Please Donate
July 05, 2025, 01:56:00 AM
Welcome,
Guest
. Please
login
or
register
.
1 Hour
5 Hours
1 Day
1 Week
Forever
Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins:
Kells76
,
Once Removed
,
Turkish
Senior Ambassadors:
SinisterComplex
Help!
Boards
Please Donate
Login to Post
New?--Click here to register
Survey: How do you compare?
Adult Children Sensitivity
67% are highly sensitive
Romantic Break-ups
73% have five or more recycles
Physical Hitting
66% of members were hit
Depression Test
61% of members are moderate-severe
108
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
> Topic:
intense loneliness
Pages: [
1
]
Go Down
« previous
next »
Print
Author
Topic: intense loneliness (Read 659 times)
delusionalxox
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 352
intense loneliness
«
on:
July 17, 2013, 05:24:35 AM »
That's it really... .
Just feel stuck in the void even though people are around me... . my parents and kids. Parents don't really understand why I'm obsessing about an obviously destructive and selfish person. Kids must be protected from my pain as far as possible.
Just feel I screwed up three years of my life on this man yet without him in my life I am completely alone and maybe the suffering was better... .
He'll never come back and if he did there would be more abuse. I've got to just do this alone.
Logged
snappafcw
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 295
Re: intense loneliness
«
Reply #1 on:
July 17, 2013, 05:33:07 AM »
You are so strong. Be kind to yourself you deserve a real man.
Logged
xandrew245x
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 75
Re: intense loneliness
«
Reply #2 on:
July 17, 2013, 06:43:53 AM »
Hang in there. I know how you feel. It has only been about a month since my exuBPD left. I know I never deserved the way she treated me, nobody deserves that. I can't help but feel extremely lonely, and feel that maybe I deserved to be in that kind of relationship. I was truley in love with her and I still love her, and it's tough knowing that she was never really in love with me the whole time we were together.
Just hang in there, have you seem a counselor or therapist? I started seeing one and it has helped me understand a lot, and has made me feel better.
Logged
Validation78
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: divorced
Posts: 1398
Re: intense loneliness
«
Reply #3 on:
July 17, 2013, 06:45:40 AM »
Hey Delusion!
It's understandable that you would feel lonely despite the fact that the relationship was not a healthy one. It doesn't change the fact that you had a partner, you had a dream, and now, you must process all that's happened, and move on with your life. It's normal to grieve, it's part of the detachment stage!
That being said, what can you do for yourself, to feel better, and to feel like you are making forward steps on a healing path?
Have you rooted around on the site to learn more about what you can do?
Let's talk about it!
Best Wishes,
Val78
Logged
Rose Tiger
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Posts: 2075
Re: intense loneliness
«
Reply #4 on:
July 17, 2013, 08:02:14 AM »
For me, the cure for lonliness was me. Self talk, ok Delusional, what do you feel like doing today? Finding things to do for you, that you like, lots of gentle self care is so helpful. No one out there knows you like you. Time to spoil yourself a bit.
Logged
ObiRedKenobi
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 87
Re: intense loneliness
«
Reply #5 on:
July 17, 2013, 09:27:42 PM »
Tonights a lonely night for me. It helps that my ex has been sending me hate texts all night though.
Logged
Octoberfest
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 717
Re: intense loneliness
«
Reply #6 on:
July 17, 2013, 09:49:29 PM »
Woke up feeling good, ex texted me and talked a bit throughout the day, 9 pm now and feeling pretty low... .
yipee
Logged
“You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.” - Winston Churchill
[/url]
Surnia
Retired Staff
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: 8 y married, divorced since 2012-11-22
Posts: 3900
Re: intense loneliness
«
Reply #7 on:
July 17, 2013, 11:43:35 PM »
Delusional
So sorry to hear this! A big big
Like others said: Be nice with yourself. Give yourself time.
And keep your life a bit busy. Do you have things you never did during your rs and you wanted do it? Perhaps a start could be in your home, like painting a wall or rearrange the furniture... . than learning something new... . New projects can be helpful.
Logged
“Don’t shrink. Don’t puff up. Stand on your sacred ground.” Brené Brown
thisyoungdad
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 262
Re: intense loneliness
«
Reply #8 on:
July 18, 2013, 02:26:15 AM »
I am feeling similarly about my wife or soon to be ex. It is particularly bad this week as we are meeting with our attorneys tomorrow and talking financial settlement issues. Talking to my attorney today we discussed some things that are scary for me, and the reality of divorce is hitting me harder than ever which means that deep loneliness. It does suck. So bad. I have to remind myself like you did for yourself that if she ever came back, and I took her back, it wouldn't change. It helps me through the loneliness in a weird way. Sorry to hear someone else feeling it too though.
Logged
delusionalxox
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 352
Re: intense loneliness
«
Reply #9 on:
July 18, 2013, 04:53:08 PM »
Hey thisyoungdad
To add to stress I am also in a longwinded divorce process with my previous ex! (not BPD... . a nightmare, but looks like an angel compared to BPD ex... . )
I know exactly the loneliness you mean. I had to sign a deed today taking me off the deeds of our old house. It felt like another terrible loss and I mourned the much healthier relationship I had before BPD ex and that I am now completely on my own, feel, old, unattractive and unable to survive alone.
I will survive alone though, I have to because I have my sons. But survival is not enough. For them I need to heal the terrible emotional damage that led me to BPD ex. that is so daunting and today I don't feel I can even begin it. To be honest I've felt a lot like suicide the last few weeks. But again, for my kids I stay here. It's just finding a real reason (other than them) to do so, that is the battle.
Logged
thisyoungdad
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 262
Re: intense loneliness
«
Reply #10 on:
July 19, 2013, 02:03:40 AM »
Delusional, a few words hit home for me right now as we actually made far more progress with the attorneys than I thought and she was far more generous on her own accord than I even would have imagined she would be, and in some cases would have thought up myself. It even seemed as genuine as she can be. We finalized the parenting plan, got that read to be filed in the upcoming weeks. Since we did the collaborative process, this was very close to the end for us and for me it brought up all that grief again. All that I lost, whether real or imagined, or am losing rather. I feel scared to be on my own. I was on my own for years before we were together, I was successful in the military. Then we got together, I got out and spent 3 years being a stay at home dad while the world went by. There is a huge difference when you are a stay at home parent, your social network shrinks, you literally have no world outside of that. So it has been even more difficult for me because I feel so lost, a lot changed from when I joined the military 10 years ago and now when I am looking for work, have a kid and on my own as a "single" dad. It scares the crap out of me, I am afraid I won't survive or can't do it. Then I get SO lonely. I am glad you are hanging on for your kids sake. I hope you can find another reason as well. I am sorry it has been that tough for you.
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?
Pages: [
1
]
Go Up
Print
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
> Topic:
intense loneliness
« previous
next »
Jump to:
Please select a destination:
-----------------------------
Help Desk
-----------------------------
===> Open board
-----------------------------
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
-----------------------------
=> Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
=> Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting
=> Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
-----------------------------
Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD
-----------------------------
=> Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD
=> Parent, Sibling, or In-law Suffering from BPD
-----------------------------
Community Built Knowledge Base
-----------------------------
=> Library: Psychology questions and answers
=> Library: Tools and skills workshops
=> Library: Book Club, previews and discussions
=> Library: Video, audio, and pdfs
=> Library: Content to critique for possible feature articles
=> Library: BPDFamily research surveys
Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife
Loading...