Having a hard night...

[Blade99d]

I was travelling this week for work, and could not keep my ex BPD off my brain.  When i drove home today, sure enough saw her vehicle at our local bar.  God do I want text her and say hi, can we talk, but I know the pain that will cause.  I bought Jimmy Buffett tickets for both of us months ago, and the concert is tomorrow, so I'm sure thats why I am having a hard night.  What a waste of money... .

[hanginon]

Blade,

It's tough. We are still married but separated.  I was receptive enough to allow my BPDw to come for a visit, intent was a week of nothing but positive things.  An opportunity to put some things behind us.  Well... . the night before she was to arrive, she came up with all sorts of formulated stories about me and another cell phone, other women, etc... . and claimed to have found evidnece of such.  (completely false)  She claimed a peroid of frequent calls to a female friend from about 6 months ago was an indicator. I looked at our records and she had just as many to the same person and it was while we were arranging an event we were all involved in. (she forgot that)  The day of her arrival she began with her endless questions some based on reality, some based on hypothetical situations. She didn't like some of my answers... . and cried most of the afternoon in the bed. We had a talk and during a moment of clarity she confessed to me that she was responsible for all our problems but felt if she could find some things that I had done, chinks in my armor... . that she would be mad at me and it would take her thoughts off of what she had done to me over the last six years of our marriage. After that talk, we had two good days.

All that to say this, I had bought concert tickets myself but because I didn't answer a hypothetical question in a manner she liked on the third day, she painted me black and flew home the day after that. I stayed at a hotel because I didn't like the mood I saw.  She took the opportunity of being alone to leave me a few hidden notes to apply some guilt after she left.   A day later I went to the concert by myself and had a good time.  I really enjoyed the simplicity of being by myself.  Either find someone to go with you or go by yourself. Enjoy.


Hanginon