He Cheated On Me... I Should Want Him Gone... He Isn't Coming Back He Say's

[Depression = 72% of members]

I'm still trying to come to grips with everything that has recently happened in my life.  I told my whole story (sorry it's a long one... . afterall 8 years together and 6 years married)... . he cheated online with a women off of Facebook.  I don't know if I'll trust facebook and spouses again after this whole thing.  She contacted him apparently after he posted some stuff that I either never saw or didn't get.  Anyway... . I found out about it from her husband this all on my other post too.  So fastfoward... . my husband has been off work due to daily migraines since March 2011.  His affair was in 2011 around July I believe and lasted several months till I found out.

It was a hard thing to get over, I trusted him again.  Silly me.  He crushed my spirit, my soul, my life... . everything.  I supported him financially for over 2 years while he would stay on Facebook and chat with friends... . yeah he would cook me supper and I'd apprecaite it... . I don't think I fully appreciate it until now.  But that's besides the point... . I'm getting to the angry phase I think... . which might be good.  I'm upset still believe me.  I was crying today.  I get this way I get upset, then angry, then upset.  It sucks!

So... . we decided that we should split and be done because we were fighting too much and we just couldn't seem to make it work... . at first I was okay with it... . thinking no more crazy stuff... . I'd be better off.  Well it's almost like they have glue stuck to you and you are trying very hard to peel it off and can't do that.

But I should.  I asked him where he would go.  We lived in an apartment we shared the lease and we were going to be breaking out lease mostly because I couldn't afford to pay for us to live there anymore.  He tried to sell some things on ebay and stuff but that money would never last.

I think we were both terrible with money honestly.  So I took out a bunch of loans to support us while he tried to apply for long term disability through his work and was denied twice.  Then he was fired from his job because he couldn't go back in Feb. 2012.

He said I lost respect for him... . I don't think I did... . I tried to help him, I took him to dr. appts. I did all the shopping for the house when he couldn't help with that.  I lifted and cleaned out all of our litter boxes while he was too sick to do.  He only did these while I was away otherwise it was my job pretty much to do.  I loved all our cats and I loved him and still love him but yet I have such a hard time at this letting go.

He left me on July 6th for the women whom he cheated with.  It ripped my heart when I found out a week later.  He wouldn't tell me where he was going.  He kept saying a guy was giving him a job and he was going to get a place too temporary until he got back up on his feet.  He was going to take our cats because I had to move into my parents place which sucks... . they fight a lot and it doesn't help me... . I could only take 4 of the cats with me and he took the rest.  I miss them so much.

She drove up here from TN to PA and got him and my cats and took him down there.  I'm starting to think maybe she's got some issues too.  I want him back and I told him that today and he said he's not coming back.  So I guess I need to let him go and see how it works out for him and hope for the best and I'll do anything I can for the kitties but I'm torn if I'd take him back or not... . after all this I'm in so much debt and he gets to go live free of rent... . free of worries... . happy with his new women.

I'm just kinda glad I didn't find out till afterwards because I'm pretty sure if I caught him with her or something I would have lost my hit more than I have recently I think.

I think the thing that irritates me the most at the moment is that I had to say goodbye to all my cats and to him on Friday ... . which he seemed sorta to almost want to rush me out the door and I just didn't see it really... . he said he had a pocker game to go to... . yeah right... . he was meeting her for the first time... . or so I'm assuming the first time ever.

He of course slept with her at some hotel I'm sure and I had no clue about all this.  I sent him several text messages Saturday morning reminding him not to forget this or that... . and he sent me a message saying "I just got to sleep on a strangers couch"  I wrote back "strangers couch nice".  He wrote "I won't have help till to move till 3... . sorry".  I told him I was goign over then to see my cats then.  He could text me when he was on his way back.

I of course was pissed about this thinking you are not even out of the apartment yet and you are screwing someone.  I didn't know though for sure he was actually doing this until last Thursday when he told me where he was and then I put the pieces together.  My heart broke all over again.  It sucked to say the lease.  I've been trying to get over this and it's just so hard.  I keep thinking about him and I know he doesn't deserve me and I never deserved to be treated like this at all.  I'm a wonderful women whom yeah... . needs to loose some weight but other than that I'm usually happy, caring, give attention and love.  I trusted him and loved him and he crushed me like a ... . I can't think of what exactly he crushed me like but he did.

Anyway... . that's all I can write for today.

[Anikaca77]

I'm still trying to come to grips with everything that has recently happened in my life.  I told my whole story (sorry it's a long one... . afterall 8 years together and 6 years married)... . he cheated online with a women off of Facebook.  I don't know if I'll trust facebook and spouses again after this whole thing.  She contacted him apparently after he posted some stuff that I either never saw or didn't get.  Anyway... . I found out about it from her husband this all on my other post too.  So fastfoward... . my husband has been off work due to daily migraines since March 2011.  His affair was in 2011 around July I believe and lasted several months till I found out.

It was a hard thing to get over, I trusted him again.  Silly me.  He crushed my spirit, my soul, my life... . everything.  I supported him financially for over 2 years while he would stay on Facebook and chat with friends... . yeah he would cook me supper and I'd apprecaite it... . I don't think I fully appreciate it until now.  But that's besides the point... . I'm getting to the angry phase I think... . which might be good.  I'm upset still believe me.  I was crying today.  I get this way I get upset, then angry, then upset.  It sucks!

So... . we decided that we should split and be done because we were fighting too much and we just couldn't seem to make it work... . at first I was okay with it... . thinking no more crazy stuff... . I'd be better off.  Well it's almost like they have glue stuck to you and you are trying very hard to peel it off and can't do that.

But I should.  I asked him where he would go.  We lived in an apartment we shared the lease and we were going to be breaking out lease mostly because I couldn't afford to pay for us to live there anymore.  He tried to sell some things on ebay and stuff but that money would never last.

I think we were both terrible with money honestly.  So I took out a bunch of loans to support us while he tried to apply for long term disability through his work and was denied twice.  Then he was fired from his job because he couldn't go back in Feb. 2012.

He said I lost respect for him... . I don't think I did... . I tried to help him, I took him to dr. appts. I did all the shopping for the house when he couldn't help with that.  I lifted and cleaned out all of our litter boxes while he was too sick to do.  He only did these while I was away otherwise it was my job pretty much to do.  I loved all our cats and I loved him and still love him but yet I have such a hard time at this letting go.

He left me on July 6th for the women whom he cheated with.  It ripped my heart when I found out a week later.  He wouldn't tell me where he was going.  He kept saying a guy was giving him a job and he was going to get a place too temporary until he got back up on his feet.  He was going to take our cats because I had to move into my parents place which sucks... . they fight a lot and it doesn't help me... . I could only take 4 of the cats with me and he took the rest.  I miss them so much.

She drove up here from TN to PA and got him and my cats and took him down there.  I'm starting to think maybe she's got some issues too.  I want him back and I told him that today and he said he's not coming back.  So I guess I need to let him go and see how it works out for him and hope for the best and I'll do anything I can for the kitties but I'm torn if I'd take him back or not... . after all this I'm in so much debt and he gets to go live free of rent... . free of worries... . happy with his new women.

I'm just kinda glad I didn't find out till afterwards because I'm pretty sure if I caught him with her or something I would have lost my hit more than I have recently I think.

I think the thing that irritates me the most at the moment is that I had to say goodbye to all my cats and to him on Friday ... . which he seemed sorta to almost want to rush me out the door and I just didn't see it really... . he said he had a pocker game to go to... . yeah right... . he was meeting her for the first time... . or so I'm assuming the first time ever.

He of course slept with her at some hotel I'm sure and I had no clue about all this.  I sent him several text messages Saturday morning reminding him not to forget this or that... . and he sent me a message saying "I just got to sleep on a strangers couch"  I wrote back "strangers couch nice".  He wrote "I won't have help till to move till 3... . sorry".  I told him I was goign over then to see my cats then.  He could text me when he was on his way back.

I of course was pissed about this thinking you are not even out of the apartment yet and you are screwing someone.  I didn't know though for sure he was actually doing this until last Thursday when he told me where he was and then I put the pieces together.  My heart broke all over again.  It sucked to say the lease.  I've been trying to get over this and it's just so hard.  I keep thinking about him and I know he doesn't deserve me and I never deserved to be treated like this at all.  I'm a wonderful women whom yeah... . needs to loose some weight but other than that I'm usually happy, caring, give attention and love.  I trusted him and loved him and he crushed me like a ... . I can't think of what exactly he crushed me like but he did.

Anyway... . that's all I can write for today.

[Anikaca77]

I'm not sure where to go with my feelings today.  I had a terrible night sleeping.  He was in my dreams last night and so were my cats.  I miss them so so much.

I was so excited to see them all.  I'm in T but just don't know how much I'm going to get out of it in the next couple of weeks until my insurance changes over.

He has left me so screwed financially, emotionally.  He is off playing husband with a new women while still being married to me.  I know I should file for the divorce and if I had money I would hire a laywer and get back the money that was spent on him but he could just say he supported me and paid rent, etc. but I also paid rent too.

It just sucks right now.  I'm going to see the other T lady who will hopefully help with my sleeping problem for now.

[Surnia]

A big  , anicaka

You are in a difficult place right now. Good you have a T.

I guess you need also some support for your financial situation and a possible divorce. Perhaps you can find a informationcenter or a helpdesk for these questions. It is important to have information about the own options.

I remember my own situation summer last year. I had not yet decided about divorcing or not. I went to a helpdesk to find out as much I could should I file for divorce. It was a very important step for me!

[Anikaca77]

Where is the helpdesk?

[Anikaca77]

I see I need to find one.  I just can't believe this is all so fresh yet, I'm starting to think now that if I would of had more money he probably would still be here and we'd be doing the same thing over and over probably.

Or he would let me catch him talkign with her and then BAM. Hit me with the lies again.

[Surnia]

Yes, you have to find a helpdesk. Sometimes churches are providing things like this.

Beside this, do you have some friends or family to support you? You are in a tough place right now... .