The last remnents - advice please

[Depression = 72% of members]

After 7 weeks of message contact only this has now stopped. I let him know a letter came for him and i had sent it back, his reply a day later was "who are you?"

So after an emotional visit with my T and prob last as cant afford it any more, Im feeling a little stronger to let go.

I have the last of his items here and although he hasnt asked for them i dont want them here. 1) memories  2) incase at a later stage he throws comments about me keeping them from him or stealing them.

Do i just throw them or should i take them to a friend of his and pass the buck?

I know im not going to get my stuff back but that could be a blessing really as will only sit and look at the ring trying to figure out what it all meant to him.

Any advice would be helpful, want to do it while im feeling positive, and hope i dont regret it when im feeling low as would of let go of any link

[gallerykey]

After 7 weeks of message contact only this has now stopped. I let him know a letter came for him and i had sent it back, his reply a day later was "who are you?"

So after an emotional visit with my T and prob last as cant afford it any more, Im feeling a little stronger to let go.

I have the last of his items here and although he hasnt asked for them i dont want them here. 1) memories  2) incase at a later stage he throws comments about me keeping them from him or stealing them.

Do i just throw them or should i take them to a friend of his and pass the buck?

I know im not going to get my stuff back but that could be a blessing really as will only sit and look at the ring trying to figure out what it all meant to him.

Any advice would be helpful, want to do it while im feeling positive, and hope i dont regret it when im feeling low as would of let go of any link

[ObiRedKenobi]

Some states have laws about abandoned property. If its anything valuable I would comply with those laws. But I'm not a legal expert so that could be bogus advice. If its just small things that aren't valuable I would be tempted to throw them away if I was in your shoes. Sending them back is just going to be seen as an attempt to keep contact. Just my opinion.

[tailspin]

imj 

Sorry you are having such a rough time; we all know how you feel.  Your strength and courage will take you safely to shore so please believe in yourself.

I would box up his things and give them to his friend.  I don't see this as passing the buck; I see this as doing what you need so you can move on.  We experience so much shame and pain from these relationships and it's important to be true to yourself right now.  I think it will be both difficult and liberating to pack up his things and give them to his friend.

tailspin

[Sparky2Blame?]

I personally think it would be proper to let him decide what of his property is valuable.  I'd hate to throw something away that may have hidden importance.

Giving to a mutual friend (if they are comfortable being in the middle).  Sending back by mail (or delivery service).  And leaving things in an unlocked garage (with notice that they will be thrown if not collected at a certain date), while gone for a few weeks, have all been ways that have worked for me.

[dangoldfool]

After 30 days I threw my GF stuff in the garbage. She had a window of opportunity to retrieve it. The way I looked at it she was cheating on me for several weeks before with the new guy. Had a place to move to and packed most of her stuff without me knowing about the new guy at that point. I found that out after she moved out. Played me as a fool. So my decision was 30 days no contact. What stuff. I didn't see anything you left... If by some miracle she gets a hold of me. I'll be like what stuff?

You might give it to his friends. I would try to keep quit about what happening between you and him, with the friends. Sometimes that info can get back to the X, and who needs that drama. Good luck.