How did you first meet your BPDex?

[willtimeheal]

At work.  She transferred to my building.  She was beautiful.  I was surprised she wanted to date me... . I didn't think she would even want to be my friend she was so beautiful.  Totally out of my league!

[Ironmanrises]

Via a mutual friend on facebook.

That was only person that mutual friend specifically introduced me to.

She didnt introduce me to anyone else.

Almost like i was destined to somehow cross paths.

Ironically... .

That same mutual friend and i stopped speaking not long after me and her started to click and get to know one another.

It wasnt that long afterwards that the personality quirks started to appear... .

Clues to my future destruction.

I had no idea.

I still remember all of that.

[Findingmysong723]

OkCupid, a dating site.

I contacted him first, I liked that he was an animal lover and I noticed we liked some of the same movies. We emailed back and forth for a little bit and then it kinda trailed off. However, he had mentioned a movie that I might like when we had talked earlier and I put it on my Netflix list. Then after it came up on my list and I watched it, I decided to send him an email and tell him what I thought. We continued talking after that. We emailed back and forth and exchanged phone numbers and texted back and forth. We talked on the phone and I remember, thinking he talked really loud and his voice was kinda high. (seriously, his voice wasn't bad but not what I expected and loud which I later found later he can't hear as good in one ear) We talked for a little bit, a few weeks or so before getting together, it seemed that it was a normal pace.

However, once we met it moved very quickly after that. The first time we met, was at a park near the shelter I volunteered at and he was interested in volunteering at. I brought one of the shelter dogs and we walked around the park and talked, it was actually a great date for me, since I love dogs and was enjoyed spending time with him. Then we went out to lunch and we both opened up about our families and enjoyed our time together. I knew he was definitely interested in seeing me again after he told me that I could get the check the next time we went out, so he definitely wanted to see me again.

After I got back home from lunch, he was very complimentary, maybe a little over the top in hindsight. I'm pretty sure once we met for the first time, we started texting and he wanted to hang out with me a lot. I remember him inviting me to go with him to get more of his tattoo done, it was fun. I still remember early on him being so excited to see me, telling me " I missed you," and I remember telling him "you just saw me the other day," and he was like "I know but I still missed you." I remember smiling and saying "okay" and not really taking it that seriously, but thinking he was being a little eager but not seeing it as a red flag. I definitely know that my reaction to him missing me after not seeing me for a day or something like that, was healthy and I didn't want him to idealize me. The funny thing is when people flatter me I tend to not take it seriously, it makes me feel a little uncomfortable and I don't believe it right away... .However, he continued to do that and I guess after awhile I thought he meant it, and I guess he did at the time, until he pushed me off my pedestal! He always said he missed me, until the very end of our relationship and had withdrew from me. I remember telling him I missed him after her broke up and he didn't respond... .

[BlushAndBashful]

A mutual friend had tried to set us up for a year or so. She had known both of us for years, loved playing matchmaker, and was convinced he was the most amazing, caring, perfect man out there. His only problem was that he kept finding crazy, unbalanced, psychotic women to get involved with. *cue tiny violins in background*

After setting us up and listening to our various ups and downs for a couple of years, she "didn't want to get involved". So she slowly distanced herself and went NC with me, since I was so crazy, unbalanced, and psychotic. They, of course, are still best buds who talk on a daily basis. I'm sure she regrets ever setting us up and is completely surprised  that I turned out *cough*  to be like all the rest of the women in his life.  And here I seemed so normal at first. Who woulda thunk I was so crazy.   

[peas]

He walked in to my workplace. Said he saw me and immediately was attracted and wanted to get to know me. He zeroed in and went for it. He returned to my workplace within the week and I met him. We clicked immediately and I stuck with him for seven months through his alcohol abuse and BPD. He broke up with me.

[Lady31]

Mauser,

I know - who would have thought right? 

I met mine at work.  Interesting how easy they can paint a picture of themselves, even when you have known them for a few years, that is ENTIRELY different than who they are.  While I did see signs of craziness in his life - he did a very good job of painting it as all the crap that just kept happening to him and all these crappy women he kept picking.  I have never been a selfish woman, or one looking to mooch off a man and not work, or high maintenance where I needed to have all the name brand clothes, purses and brand new cars.  I thought, poor guy - they are using him.  I could love him for HIM and don't need all those things.  I make my own money and would CONTRIBUTE to the relationship, not drain it... .etc.  Got together and found out, IT WAS HIM.  Of course, that same ability to hide his true self from me for a few years while working together is what enables him to snow blow everyone else because on the surface he seems so wonderful.  I'm sure a lot of people believe his BS.  I don't blame them because I did too.  He's good at it, I have to give him that.  But you know what, frankly my dear, I don't give a "crap" what anyone thinks of me!  I escaped the dark, toxic, poison, chaos & abuse!  I'm free from hell!  God never wanted me living in that in the first place.

As my 2 year old niece says - see ya latta ayeeegatta!

[Trick1004]

Mine lived next door to me. I was focused on finishing my degree and I don't think I said a word to her for about nine months after she moved in. A month before graduation we got back from the bars around the same time. She was fumbling around trying to get into her apartment.

I remember thinking maybe I should help her and told myself "no, bad idea" and just went inside my apartment. After a few more beers I was smoking a cig on my porch, she came out on her porch and I thought this is a bad idea but thought what the hell (I was drunk and bored) and asked her "hey, what are you doing?" One thing led to another that night and here I am four and half years later wondering what the hell happened and kicking myself for not listening to my gut that night .