Here we go again She is looking for a new job too far away.

[Cipher13]

Insert Quote

just my 0.02 here... .

she sounds very insecure.  Her insecurities make her have to be the one in control of everything!  This entire thing is revolving around HER, and YOU are the bad guy for HER failures! Absolutley!

So, she is acting completely BPD with her need for DRAMA (the irrational job location,) and the victimization (you are the bad guy for reality not letting her get what she wants!) Thats typically what happens. And it happens frequently!

No accountability... . because nothing is ever their fault and they will never take any responsibility for their actions! 

Unfortunately, you are in a NO win situation... . let me ask you this... . what's in this for YOU? Nothing is in it for me. Unless you count mor eof the same anguish, hurt and turmoil. There are some good times but not nearly enought these days to justify.

How is this making YOU feel? Nothing i ever do will make it better. Nothing I ever do will make it go away.  I feel alone. Completely helpless and alon. I have the support of the poeple here and my parents via email (since I'm not allowed to see them... long story).  I feel sick. I feel trapped. I feel hopeless. You get the idea.

MCC

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[mcc503764]

Sounds as if she has isolated you from your family... . Just my opinion, but I'd work on getting out of the situation.

Where is the RESPECT?  It's impossible to make something with someone who only thinks of themselves!  You will drive yourself crazy trying to... . in the end, it's just NOT worth it!

Ask yourself this... . what do YOU want?  What's keeping you from freely voicing YOUR opinion?

Trust me, I know what it's like in this situation.  You feel as if YOUR opinion doesn't matter because everytime you try and express it, she turns into the "victim," and it is all about HER!

I didn't want to believe that about mine... . I wanted to push through it and make it work, but there comes a time when you have to make a decision... . is this really worth it?

Everyone has the right to be happy!  Sounds like you need to reclaim your right to be happy@!


MCC

[SadWifeofBPD]

let me ask you this... . what's in this for YOU?

I agree.  What's in it for you?  

If she takes another job elsewhere and gets a place to live, what would happen?

[Cipher13]

If she takes another job elsewhere and gets a place to live, what would happen?

I don't think she would ever do that. Before we moved from Colorado she had severa job offers. I said you can go but I won't be able to until I find something. In the end she couldn't be apart from me as she said she didn't trust me to be alone. When I think in truth she wouldn't have anyone to take care of her until I got there. 

Now I guess they offered her more $ and she is codempalting it still. She asked for my opinion again and I said if you want ot do it then do it. Then she comes up with all these other "concerns". Self sabatage is what that is. Setting herself up for failure if she takes the job.  Seen it time after time.  Gosh you think I'd be good at this. Probelme is I can play Monday morning quarterback all day long. Put me in the live game and I freeze.