exBPD and his merry friends

[VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?"]

I was never friends with my ex's friends, in fact he really didn't have "friends", just useful people he would once in a blue moon hang out with if he needed something (security contract hookups etc) - some of them were just as unscrupulous. I thought i blocked everyone because I take the NC rule very seriously. However, a LinkedIn account that I erased, and thought deactivated, just notified me of his buddy trying to add me. The same buddy who had been telling my ex that he doesnt need counseling. I didn't respond, and have just filed it in my divorce folder.

Is this typical? My exBPD seems wrapped up in a female BPD (shes the one he drained our childrens savings for , to pay her rent.) She's got 7 kids, 4 baby Daddy's, and spends her days drinking & hooking up (her behavior is documented in social media. So it's amazing to see how one week she was deeply in love with her husband, and the next getting drunk and humping some young military guy at a bar. I did a public records check, and show she just filed for divorce about a week ago, but has been partying and hooking up the entire time.) I'm quite hopeful that he will get sucked into her drama long enough for me to safely divorce him.

However, what I  can't wrap my head around, is why his "friends" (loosely used.) are contacting me? It feels predatory.

[mistrix]

I was never friends with my ex's friends, in fact he really didn't have "friends", just useful people he would once in a blue moon hang out with if he needed something (security contract hookups etc) - some of them were just as unscrupulous. I thought i blocked everyone because I take the NC rule very seriously. However, a LinkedIn account that I erased, and thought deactivated, just notified me of his buddy trying to add me. The same buddy who had been telling my ex that he doesnt need counseling. I didn't respond, and have just filed it in my divorce folder.

Is this typical? My exBPD seems wrapped up in a female BPD (shes the one he drained our childrens savings for , to pay her rent.) She's got 7 kids, 4 baby Daddy's, and spends her days drinking & hooking up (her behavior is documented in social media. So it's amazing to see how one week she was deeply in love with her husband, and the next getting drunk and humping some young military guy at a bar. I did a public records check, and show she just filed for divorce about a week ago, but has been partying and hooking up the entire time.) I'm quite hopeful that he will get sucked into her drama long enough for me to safely divorce him.

However, what I  can't wrap my head around, is why his "friends" (loosely used.) are contacting me? It feels predatory.

[mistrix]

I mention my ex being wrapped up in the female w/ BPD because to me it's enough of a reason, that his friends shouldnt be contacting me.

[Matt]

If you want to go ahead and deactivate the LinkedIn account, that should take care of it, or you can just ignore the friend request if you want to keep the account open.

It seems reasonable that his buddy might be snooping, but don't let them rent space in your head.  Just maintain your sensible boundaries and focus on doing what's best for the kids.

[mistrix]

If you want to go ahead and deactivate the LinkedIn account, that should take care of it, or you can just ignore the friend request if you want to keep the account open.

It seems reasonable that his buddy might be snooping, but don't let them rent space in your head.  Just maintain your sensible boundaries and focus on doing what's best for the kids.

i thought I did deactivate it. when I go to login it says "We couldn't find a LinkedIn account associated with" yet I got an email saying he wanted to befriend me on Linkedin.

Im avoiding his friends like the Plague. (Thankfully they all live several hours away) Its an unusual behavior that I didn't anticipate. The feeling is probably closer to witnessing someone vomit at an amusement park... . that kind of ick. You are absolutely right - I dont want to empower any kind of pain. Im seeing subtle yet significant gains in my life - I went from being an overly educated housewife who was seemingly unemployable, to having  fulltime job. I dont want to back slide... .

thank you for reminding me of that

[livednlearned]

Could it be that he just did a mass "add" through his email contacts, and that he isn't looking closely to see who he has invited?

[mistrix]

Could it be that he just did a mass "add" through his email contacts, and that he isn't looking closely to see who he has invited?

I've never emailed him or vice versa. He's creepy, I'm over it. He tried to do a reinvite, and I blew it off. He always struck me as a predatory opportunist.