All things point to go

[Depression = 72% of members]

I've recently found that my wife is having an affair. It is with her boss. Good thing is she works from home and he lives 3000 miles away. many weeks during the year they do need to see each other on "business". I know that he manipulated her and they have a very deep emotional relationship. But i did find hard evidence of a physical relationship one at least 2 occasions.

In the last few months we started counseling. Since we have started the counseling i confronted her about it. First time i asked if there was someone else in her life. As you can assume she freaked out. About a week later i found out who it is. This time, thanks to counseling, I said "I have to go to the store but when i get back can we talk about something? I know everything going on between you and Dick (we'll call him Dick here)." She started to freak then i said i'd be back.

I got back about an hour later. She was calm and crying. We talked a while and she swore they were just "friends" but i know better.

Then counselor told me to look into borderline personality disorder and x marks the spot.

Ever aspect of this disorder explains the last 12 years of my life. It seems to me that 99% of marriages that involve one spouse with BPT ends in divorce. I love my wife with all of my heart. I understand now why she strayed. And i know that if i leave he is going to hurt her then she'll have no one. I'm so hurt and cry everyday but i still love her and don't want to leave her. I want to make our family last forever. How do I convince her that this affair is not real. That there was a time that she loved me and that it is still in there. I know it is. Would she go to counseling if she didn't? I really don't the know questions to ask her or even to ask in here. I've only know about this BPT for a week. But now that I know we can start the healing right? :'(

[brokenandhurt]

I've recently found that my wife is having an affair. It is with her boss. Good thing is she works from home and he lives 3000 miles away. many weeks during the year they do need to see each other on "business". I know that he manipulated her and they have a very deep emotional relationship. But i did find hard evidence of a physical relationship one at least 2 occasions.

In the last few months we started counseling. Since we have started the counseling i confronted her about it. First time i asked if there was someone else in her life. As you can assume she freaked out. About a week later i found out who it is. This time, thanks to counseling, I said "I have to go to the store but when i get back can we talk about something? I know everything going on between you and Dick (we'll call him Dick here)." She started to freak then i said i'd be back.

I got back about an hour later. She was calm and crying. We talked a while and she swore they were just "friends" but i know better.

Then counselor told me to look into borderline personality disorder and x marks the spot.

Ever aspect of this disorder explains the last 12 years of my life. It seems to me that 99% of marriages that involve one spouse with BPT ends in divorce. I love my wife with all of my heart. I understand now why she strayed. And i know that if i leave he is going to hurt her then she'll have no one. I'm so hurt and cry everyday but i still love her and don't want to leave her. I want to make our family last forever. How do I convince her that this affair is not real. That there was a time that she loved me and that it is still in there. I know it is. Would she go to counseling if she didn't? I really don't the know questions to ask her or even to ask in here. I've only know about this BPT for a week. But now that I know we can start the healing right? :'(

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[SadWifeofBPD]

 

Boy you need a friendly 

so sorry that you're going thru this.  So, did your W ever admit to the affair? 

Are you sure that she doesn't have Dependent PD?  or NPD?  What makes the T think it's BPD? 

[sadinnc98]

Im really sorry  I have found uBPDbf on dating sites at times (while we were together) and it was extremely painful   Sadly, I bought his lame excuses. I still feel like things are still going on