Have I done everything I could?

[VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?"]

Two years ago, I separated from my wife and started a relationship with a diagnozed BPD girlfriend. We broke up six months ago when she asked me to divorce from my wife failing which she would leave. I said I don't feel ready right now so she left. I read many posts about BPD partners making unreasonable demands and kind of setting-up break-ups but this one was probably a legitimate demand. She also used to say that we were not and would never be in a position to build a relationship as long as I was not divorced, which is probably true. The problem is that I keep thinking that if I had given her what she wanted, we would be together today. At the same time, I had the impression that she was not ready to commit to the relationship either. I often felt that I was coming after her friends, mother and work and that she was more interested in being "married with me" than "with me". Has any of you been in a similar situation?

[Blaise]

Two years ago, I separated from my wife and started a relationship with a diagnozed BPD girlfriend. We broke up six months ago when she asked me to divorce from my wife failing which she would leave. I said I don't feel ready right now so she left. I read many posts about BPD partners making unreasonable demands and kind of setting-up break-ups but this one was probably a legitimate demand. She also used to say that we were not and would never be in a position to build a relationship as long as I was not divorced, which is probably true. The problem is that I keep thinking that if I had given her what she wanted, we would be together today. At the same time, I had the impression that she was not ready to commit to the relationship either. I often felt that I was coming after her friends, mother and work and that she was more interested in being "married with me" than "with me". Has any of you been in a similar situation?

[Surnia]

  Blaise

I was not in a similar situation. I am familiar with this kind of questions, about if I did enough... .

I would say, yes while you were in this situation you did your best, you did enough, you did what you can. We cannot turn the time wheel back and in hind side we see things always different.

We can take something with us for the future. Something like: In the future I will focus on commitment - how much commitment do I need and how much I am willing to give, as a example.