Need prayers and good thoughts our way, court tomorrow

[VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?"]

We were to have relocation hearing in late July, delayed because his scumbag attorney knew of a 'procedural' glitch clear back in April when my atty filed it (comparing law at time of divorce compared to today's) and yet agreed to set the hearing and all and did not tell my attorney of the 'glitch' until court, with the kids and their friend waiting in the courthouse cafe to be called in to testify. Hay Dios mio!  Anyway, already had to give up a very good job offer (was to start yesterday) but at least have another offer, and kids will be testifying tomorrow... we hope.  Who know what stuff his atty will try, it's always something.  Prayers for all of us, including my attorney (for wisdom) and the judge (for the same).  We still have to finish the appointments for the custody evaluation (the 2nd, first was in 2006-07), which will still require at least a few more terrible days of collecting texts and emails and other documents to 'bring him down' with all the evidence of what an abusive jerk he has been to all three of us (me and the two girls), but I think there may eventually be an end to the 'bleeding' somewhere in sight.  He will probably still try to change child support ad nauseum until the youngest is 18 (5 more years), but the girls and their friend are testifying tomorrow, so I think we will eventually (even if not tomorrow) get relief from the kids of having to be in a relationship with their dad, which they flatly refuse.  Prayers, please.

[paxfamilia]

We were to have relocation hearing in late July, delayed because his scumbag attorney knew of a 'procedural' glitch clear back in April when my atty filed it (comparing law at time of divorce compared to today's) and yet agreed to set the hearing and all and did not tell my attorney of the 'glitch' until court, with the kids and their friend waiting in the courthouse cafe to be called in to testify. Hay Dios mio!  Anyway, already had to give up a very good job offer (was to start yesterday) but at least have another offer, and kids will be testifying tomorrow... we hope.  Who know what stuff his atty will try, it's always something.  Prayers for all of us, including my attorney (for wisdom) and the judge (for the same).  We still have to finish the appointments for the custody evaluation (the 2nd, first was in 2006-07), which will still require at least a few more terrible days of collecting texts and emails and other documents to 'bring him down' with all the evidence of what an abusive jerk he has been to all three of us (me and the two girls), but I think there may eventually be an end to the 'bleeding' somewhere in sight.  He will probably still try to change child support ad nauseum until the youngest is 18 (5 more years), but the girls and their friend are testifying tomorrow, so I think we will eventually (even if not tomorrow) get relief from the kids of having to be in a relationship with their dad, which they flatly refuse.  Prayers, please.

[rogerroger]

Hope all turns out good.

[catnap]

Sending good thoughts and prayers your way.   

[livednlearned]

Let us know how things went. Was thinking about you and your kids today.

[DreamGirl]

 

I hope it went well yesterday. Your family deserves resolution.

[paxfamilia]

It didn't go well.  It didn't even finish. Despite my attorneys insistance to continue the next day or so, once again my due process laws were violated.  If I could tell you how many times they have been violated... . ex has filed in excess of 60 motions, I think, since 2006.

Judge heard testimony from kids' friend (17), and judge didn't get it, didn't want to get it, painted dad as a hero in one case, rather than the agressor in a line cutting incident in a public theme park, in which he was being so antagonistic, oldest kid feared big 270 pound black man all tat'd up was going to assault her or her dad for her dad getting into his face so bad, but judge would not listen to exact words their friend was testifying too, nor did judge understand friend's safety concerns were not about  talking on the phone while driving but web surfing and texting and emailing.

Judge heard from testimony from CPI investigator.  Child abuse was unfounded but she did make some good remarks.  Mother is protective because she was going to file DVI petitions on behalf of children.  Also, that child abuse hadn't necessarily not happened, just that there were no marks on the kids to prove it.

Kids testified.  Don't know what happened there, not allowed in the room.  Do know it was definitely NOT long enough to cover all of the physical and emotional abuse he has done to both of them, so worried those things didn't come out right either.

I was not allowed to discuss my other compelling reasons for relocation, including the child abuse he has done to them recently and in the past (including an ER report which he manipulated to get suspsicion off him because he is a Pediatrician), nor my situation with my employment now because of the kids huge PTSD and how they refused to be taken to or picked up from school by anyone but me (which interferred with my job hours) because I pack one or two loaded guns everywhere I go now.  Nor the fact that the only male my youngest trusts on any level is my dad. She doesn't even trust friends' dad, wants nothing to do with them, and has been totally socially isolated since she saw her dad last, will only be friendly at school, refuses to see kids outside of that (including all summer long holed up at home).

Judge wanted to wait for custody evaluators report.  They are putting pressure on her to finish a report, and I haven't even gotten half way through my interviewing with her, she hasn't called a single collateral (so far I have over 15), hasn't collected my past mental therapy records (to show history of anxiety and depression directly from his coercive control/emotional abuse, etc.)   Hasn't begun to read what is essentially over 1500 pages of information (emails, texts, depositions, kids' records, pleadings and answers, court orders, financial information, etc.) already provided... . and I'm still collecting.  Still have to go over all the mistakes the original custody evaluator did (bad note taking, writing a report one year after interviews, not contacting my collaterals but contacting the ex's, not seeing the stalking and child abuse that was being reported to him THEN, not just by me but also by collaterals, and the kids., etc.).

And i fear I will once again lose, just because I have PTSD when I have to go through all this horrible crap of remembering and recollecting and facing off in what seem to be an endless Viet Nam of court fighting.  Even with Xanax on board, I am wigged out to face them in court (especially his attorney who keeps lying at every turn) and the custody evaluator even noted in session last week that I tend to exaggerate and get panicky and emotionally dramatic when talking about past events, and we are talking about things that happened 6, 7 10 years ago.  And I'm still a mess when someone insists on hearing about it, on opening those wounds.  That is my only silver lining, that the evaluator noticed it, labeled it what it was, and so I think she sees the PTSD (I hope). 

[paxfamilia]

But I did have a victory today.  We had 2 motions for contempt and hearing for attorney's fees.  Judge would not hold him in contempt (wish he would have, just wanted him to comply).  I walked out with getting the youngest's braces reimbursed to me (even though I sent ex all the stuff clear back in January), but he would not give me the kids's therapist money spent, because I had not "cleared' it with the ex before taking her, even though our divorce decree in 2008 states that the therapist will be the kids' therapist and no one can change that.  So for some reason, I have to contact someone who verbally abuses me every time I contact him, and ask permission to take the kids to a therapist that HE wants removed because she has testified that the dad has been emotionally and verbally abusing the kids not only since separation (in 2006, 2 years before divorce) but even before separation.  Oh, the absurdities of court.  Judge is still not getting it; he thinks that I should be able to co-parent with someone that, at every opportunity, uses co-parenting as a means to inflict more abuse/coercive control not only on me but also on the kids.  I guess thank God there IS a custody evaluator, because I don't think this judge would have put enough weight on the  kids' desires, and would have somehow come up with some parental alieanation crap rather than the truth:  the kids hate their dad because he is a 24/7 emotional batterer, and when emotional abusing is not working well enough for him, then he resorts to verbal an physical, including stalking if you get up enough guts to leave him.

[DreamGirl]

I guess thank God there IS a custody evaluator, because I don't think this judge would have put enough weight on the  kids' desires,

Everything happens for a reason right? 

Judge wanted to wait for custody evaluators report.

Is there a deadline for this?

[paxfamilia]

right now trial is set for early dec. (6th and 9th), but my concern is that the CE won't finish the report 30 days ahead (required here).  I think she 'gets it', even told me that she would consider collaterals from our whole history, she wanted to see his passive-aggressiveness with other people (like at work).  So far, have one nurse who has PTSD from him, and she saved all the papers from 2005, so that helps.  Working on other doctors to speak with CE, but so far closed lips. I guess, just like lawyers, doctors protect their own? So trying to find old nurses he has worked with.