How did she hide their resentment so well

cal644

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How did she hide their resentment so well

« on: August 20, 2013, 03:22:40 PM »

Here is a question I still struggle with. My ex told me she hadn't loved me and resented me for years. How did she hide it so well, how didn't I or anyone we knew have a clue. I guess that is just one of the things that shocked the hell out of me, just being blindsided, this was shortly before I found out about her affairs.


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mitchell16

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Re: How did she hide their resentment so well

« Reply #1 on: August 20, 2013, 03:49:02 PM »

in my opinion it was just away of justfying what she did. Mine always jusfied her actions and codemened mine. Also a way of hurting you. Just my opinion.


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Surnia

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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: 8 y married, divorced since 2012-11-22
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Re: How did she hide their resentment so well

« Reply #2 on: August 20, 2013, 03:55:49 PM »

cal644

I hear your struggles and I would be shocked too.

Perhaps you can step a bit back: Words are sometimes black ice. I could also imagine that she painted the past black to justify the next rs.


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goldylamont

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Re: How did she hide their resentment so well

« Reply #3 on: August 20, 2013, 04:22:59 PM »

i think this is a good question. I agree with mitchell16 that first of all she's probably just trying to justify her betrayals; and second i think she's trying to be spiteful and inflict more pain on you. my ex told me after our r/s that her biggest mistake was staying with me for years when she not only didn't love me but loathed who i was--it's all a bunch of BS. truth is she's tortured all the time and i was never the reason. and she was just really pissed at me for taking control and ending the r/s and wanted to try and hurt me in return to restore some kind of power for herself. i consider pretty much anything she says as lies now anyway, regardless of what she "thinks" she "feels"


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seeking balance

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Re: How did she hide their resentment so well

« Reply #4 on: August 20, 2013, 05:07:49 PM »

Quote from: cal644 on August 20, 2013, 03:22:40 PM

Simple - she was surviving the way she knew how, it wasn't about you - it was about her survival.


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