Obvious indicator of BPD?

[Depression = 72% of members]

The ex called again tonight. 43 days nc still. My question is do you think that the fact that she's getting or already got married yet still calls me a pretty obvious indicator of BPD? She's not diagnosed but come on... I tell her I need nc and add that to her getting married and she still tries to talk to me... I've never been painted black prob cus I ended it. She wants something outta me... a new rescuer?

[me757]

The ex called again tonight. 43 days nc still. My question is do you think that the fact that she's getting or already got married yet still calls me a pretty obvious indicator of BPD? She's not diagnosed but come on... I tell her I need nc and add that to her getting married and she still tries to talk to me... I've never been painted black prob cus I ended it. She wants something outta me... a new rescuer?

[Surnia]

I would be a bit wondering too.

Did you take the call?

[me757]

Nope. Funny thing was that I was on a date when she called. I haven't responded to the 12 or so calls, numerous texts and emails since going NC 43 days ago. As far as I know she is still getting married or already married... but she obviously is missing me or how I made her feel or just the triangulation. I really do think she loves me but because of that it triggers her BPD so bad. She'd often say that I reminded her of her dad (who left the family in her teens)... well if that's the case, then I probably trigger her a lot more than most... but then she is also probably drawn to me more than most because I remind her of a father that she probably always wanted to be there for her. Sad.

[Surnia]

Yes, it is sad. And sort of coincidence with the date.

I think this is what you can do: Feel the sadness for a moment, knowing you cannot do anything for her and move on with your life. 

How was the date btw?

[me757]

It was ok. Honestly, I haven't met anyone that I've clicked with nearly as good as the exBPD. My exBPD was pretty much my first love so that's what makes this so hard... I don't really have a normal relationship to compare things to.

[So hurt]

You could block her number, text and calls. Shuts it all down so you won't have to deal with it. Would you want to really be involved with a married woman who behaves this way?

[me757]

I messaged her sister to delete my number from my ex's phone. I just checked my ex's facebook for the first time in awhile and its a bunch of those portrait pre-wedding pics where they look all happy . It's easy to see past the bs when you have your ex post pics like that but then call you a few nights later. The great thing about NC is that I'm far less attached now than ever before. I mainly just get mad. She's severely damaged and any normal person getting married/already married wouldn't be calling ex's at 9 at night the same month they got married. I'm not sad... I'm angry now.

[me757]

Just talked with my exBPD's sister a little bit. She said she would try to stop my ex from calling me. After talking to her for about 10 min about things, I can't help but feel someone sadder. Maybe it's because I hadn't really talked to anyone (besides this site) about her in a long time. I guess this is what would have happened on an even greater scale if I had have broke NC. Definitely going to the gym today...