Well here's my update

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

The good news : I moved into my own place . Got offered a very high paying job working with the state.

The bad news : Ex assaulted me. They didn't arrest him. They were actually trying to arrest ME! I am totally , completely mind blown. I had three cops scolding me, asking ME why he does the things he does! They did not care about the fact he's plead guilty before to abusing me, yet they were trying to use my arrest record against me (which certainly does not contain any acts of violence!) Oh and something really weird: The cops demanded to look through my texts. Not sure why.

Don't know what to do now.

There are some other things bothering me right now about his parenting as well... . baby has been completely potty trained since June and he and his family are still making her wear diapers and at one of the doc appointments xFIL said she has only used the potty once over there  Obviously because they don't offer it.

[motherof1yearold]

The good news : I moved into my own place . Got offered a very high paying job working with the state.

The bad news : Ex assaulted me. They didn't arrest him. They were actually trying to arrest ME! I am totally , completely mind blown. I had three cops scolding me, asking ME why he does the things he does! They did not care about the fact he's plead guilty before to abusing me, yet they were trying to use my arrest record against me (which certainly does not contain any acts of violence!) Oh and something really weird: The cops demanded to look through my texts. Not sure why.

Don't know what to do now.

There are some other things bothering me right now about his parenting as well... . baby has been completely potty trained since June and he and his family are still making her wear diapers and at one of the doc appointments xFIL said she has only used the potty once over there  Obviously because they don't offer it.

[newlymarried]

Unfortunately you have to parallel parent with BPDdad. I am glad you are working and will be able to better care for your kiddo.

[catnap]

Get the incident report & photos of any injuries.  Make an appointment with the DA of your county and ask that they prosecute your ex for assault. 

Great news about your job and new place.

His family is being lazy about the potty thing.  Easier for them to keep her in diapers than taking/reminding her about the potty would be my guess. 

[livednlearned]

What happened that made it possible for him to assault you?

Also, is he back living with his family?

[ForeverDad]

The bad news : Ex assaulted me. They didn't arrest him. They were actually trying to arrest ME! I am totally , completely mind blown. I had three cops scolding me, asking ME why he does the things he does!

Apparently they see you as a catalyst of his behaviors, that he reacts to them, as though you're doing little things to trigger him to do whatever?  Are you keeping your distance from him except for required exchanges?

Are these police he is familiar with?  If so then he's had years to convince them (as expert blamers can do) that despite his behaviors, you're the underlying problem.

Congrats on the job!  Don't let your ex sabotage it, I'm sure he will try.  Your financial future - and independence - is starting to look up.

[motherof1yearold]

It happened during our child exchange. Apparently he somehow found out that I've been seeing a new partner! *gasp* !

And funny you ask FD, when I first called dispatch to get them on their way, he actually called a personal cop friend. The same friend who has let him go for DV before on his brother, also the same cop who told him about a year ago that he would arrest me for DV with no evidence, only ex's word (total lie)

Yep, he's back with family and has probably split them back white as we speak!

Might have to move our exchanges to the police station!