what's been triggering me...

[Deb]

In my state, there has been a trial about adoptive parents who are charged with "homicide by abuse." It's horrible what was done to this child, but I have read child abuse things similar and was not triggered like I have been. I finally realized that it's the adoptive mother's testimony! She is JUST like my sister!

So this is what happened. They adopted 2 children from Ethiopia and the kids were older with problems associated with being from a war torn country,plus the son was deaf. The couple had 7 bio kids and the mother homeschooled all of them. They were pretty isolated and only associated with others at church. That stopped several months before the adopted daughter died. The daughter, Hana Williams, was locked in a closet, made to sleep in a barn, made to shower with a garden hose in the yard. In winter. Made to use a porta potty or bucket outside instead of the bathroom. Was fed cold or frozen food. Plus she had h. pylori, which makes eating difficult. It's treatable, but she never saw a doctor. The boy was taught sign language but only his adopted mother was allowed to sign with him. In February of 2012, Hana died of hypothermia in the backyard, naked. In the rain in 40 degree weather. She was 13 and weighed 78  pounds!

Here's what triggered me. The monster adoptive POS said that "Hana accidently killed herself." Seriously? And nothing was the fault of the monster. If Hana had followed the rules, she would have recieved better treatment. Oh, and she sent her bio sons out to beat Hana as she lay near death because Hana was being "oppositional" and not coming in.  Nothing was this woman's fault. It was obviously the child's fault in her mind. Just like my dBPD sister.No matter what horrendous thing she did, it was the fault of the children, in my sister's mind. If they had only followed the rules. In fact, my oldest 2 niece's have told me, seperately, that they only survived childhood because my sister couldn't figure out how to get away with killing them.

Oh, and the husband, he is a real peach too. He put all the blame for the treatment of these 2 children on his wife.

I don't know if the adoptive monster of these children is a PD. I just know that she and my sister could be twins. The evilness of their treatments of children, and the denial of ot being their fault just floors me. I want to cry for Hana. My nieces are grown now and have not spoken to their mother in a decade. But I cry for them sometimes too.

[Deb]

Just an update. This horrid couple, both probably PD'd, have been found guilty. She of Homicide by abuse and assault on a child. He of manslaughter and assault on a child. Both get to spend quality time in one of the state's "resorts" for felons. I doubt the judge will let them off lightly. My sister's only penalty was that she will never know her grandchildren. These 2 will be in prison, with people who may have been abused as children.

[Coral]

Oh DEBS,  I know what you mean.  My BPD sister's kids are all walking dead.  It hurts more than I can say.  She heaps buckets of acid on them (they're adults) and doesn't EVER recognize her damaging ways.

[Sasha026]

Deb, It is so hurtful when you hear about children being abused - not to mention triggering. I don't know how many times I've read something about abused children and had to turn away because it reminded me of my upbringing.

 

[Deb]

Thanks Coral and Sasha,

Sometimes, just having someone validate what is hurting helps me to cope. It also helps me not to wanna wrong *someone's* neck.