Lots of mixed emotions

I don't even know where to start? Does my husband really have BPD? He has some of the main symptoms but not all. He has in the past several years done some things which seem so irrational to me and have caused me lots of pain and I have been able to let it go and move on but recently I found out he did something that has affected my family and again he saw nothing wrong with what he did, made perfect sense to him but to the rest of us can't even begin to see how you would justify.

My family member called and talked to him recently (8 months after it happened) to get it resolved. At first he was calm after the call and things seemed to be accepted but then the longer he thought about the conversation the more rage he felt. My husband turned everything around as it seemed to him he was made out to be the bad guy.

All of this happened before I found this site or disorder so my come back to him was you did something wrong, you guys talked about it and now let it go! I kept repeating but of course it only served to escalate the emotions. The new kicker is yesterday my sister called and told me she had told other members of my family to talk it out but she never told me. So my family has known for months and i only just found out from husband during an argument we had.

The result? Well yesterday when I started reading to have more understanding about what I need to do I felt positive but then after I talked to my sister, well I have so many additional emotions now. I just don't feel like I can be the strong emotional caregiver.

I know there are no answers or solutions but just wanted to write it out and vent. (i have always been very close to my family and love them very much but now I feel almost a betrayal and it all goes back to another irrational decision my husband made. )



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