A funny thought... :)

[connect]

Just made myself laugh today.

Being of the rather co-dependant persuassion myself I had a funny thought.

I pictured a website forum out there dedicated to the partners of co-dependant people...   It would have posts on it like "She made me breakfast in bed - I hate it!" or "Oh no, my house is clean again and she loves me"

Made me laugh anyway 

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[MaybeSo]

Ya. I get the humor and there's some truth to it.

But if totally honest, a forum like that would have a lot of other scenarios on there far less charming and benign than those two examples. Codependence isn't just the cute, nice-person's disorder.

She cleaned my house, now I'm just suppose to not have a mental illness, not be a addict, or not be a jerk, or not be who i am anymore cause she is so nice and self sacrificing.

Oh look, she made me breakfast in bed again and loves me... and she also assumes that if she just keeps doing nice things like this it will fix a serious mental disorder so that she finally gets that love back, and she will feel crushed or enraged  tomorrow when it becomes evident it hasn't fixed anything. And she will keep doing that for years until finally realizing the person she needs to fix and love and care about is HERSELF.

Sorry to be a downer. But that's more accurately what we would see on a forum talking about

codependents. Being of the CD pursuasion myself.

[eyvindr]

sheesh, MaybeSo... .major buzzkill... . 

[MaybeSo]

Ya well. Keepin it real. And I'm pretty sick of my own CD right now.  

[connect]

Maybeso I know the feeling of being pretty sick of my own co-dependancy too... it's something that I am working on.

Today I was in my b/f's house looking at all the dishes piled up and the plates on the floor saying over and over to myself ":)on't touch it! Don't do it! Leave it alone Connect!" Managed to walk away and leave it 

[MaybeSo]

Ya! Leave the dirty dishes for him to clean. He's a big boy.

Oh, and go get a really nice French manicure, too. I just got one last week, the gel kind that lasts a long time... .never got one before. They are fantastic! My nails have never looked this nice!

[connect]

sounds nice :-)

Now I am making a conscious effort to do less stuff for him round at his house I also had the same idea a few days ago. Am sporting glittery nails as we speak... .they just don't go with housework anymore!

[MaybeSo]

Exactly!

No more hoping and waiting for someone to notice or appreciate my value. My focus is to treat myself like I matter, to nurture myself like I matter, and to give myself the care and respect I deserve. We have a lot to offer, we are very valuable. It's time to start acting like it.

[eyvindr]

You go, girls.

[patientandclear]

Amen.

[LetItBe]

Here, here!