Day 2 of the breakup

[Chadwick]

Hi all,

Been a while since I've been on this board but I'm in need of some experienced advice and assistance.

I broke up with my BPD girlfriend yesterday (2 years of dating) and it felt like such a relief at first. We have an apartment together, so we are trying to sort out who will move. We are going to discuss that tomorrow.

After I broke up with her yesterday, she travelled to campus to text me and say she needed to talk. I went to hear her out and it was a plea to come back. I stood my ground and explained that we will never be back together but she just won't understand, then today I saw that she has been looking up suicide methods online which really sent me in a panic. I told her older sister and brother in law since it should not be my responsibility to get her through that.

Any tips in regard to distance and possible suicide? She has attempted once before, nearly successful before we dated. Also, distance is hard to get since she texts, calls, and we still have to settle the apartment.

Thanks in advance for your help and support,

Chadwick

[GreenMango]

You did the right thing contacting her family.  She has a history of attempts.  You aren't able to provide treatment but its good to notify someone close to her.

[Chadwick]

Thanks for the reassurance. I dont think they are going to do anything about it but I guess I shouldn't worry myself about it.

Any suggestions for getting her to realize we will never be back together?

[Lucky Jim]

Hey Chadwick, My uBPDexW threatened suicide many times so I have been in your shoes, my friend.  As hard as it is to accept, you are not responsible for the actions of another adult.  As a general matter, I suspect that pwBPD use suicide threats as an attention-getting device.  Indeed, some say suicide threats are the ultimate manipulation.  99% of the time it is just crying wolf, in my view, but that last 1% used to really get to me.  You did the right thing by letting her family know and I wouldn't be surprised if this happens again soon.  Hang in there, Lucky Jim