Anniversary

[Depression = 72% of members]

For those that don't know, I'm in the process of divorcing my uBPDw (just retained a lawyer last week) and needless to say, things have been extremely awkward at my home over the past month or so.  uBPDw knows I want a divorce, and since then has been on her best behavior (for the most part).  Here's the thing... .our 2 year anniversary is tomorrow.  I am not planning on doing anything, as I am divorcing her.  It's making me sick to think about - I do indeed love her very much, but i know this marriage is extremely unhealthy, and that is why I'm divorcing her. 

Any ideas on how to handle tomorrow?  Just ignore it and pretend it's like any other day?  Should I do something small to recognize the day for her? 

This is so confusing - part of me wants to just "make it all better" again in my care-taking way... .and the other part says I shouldn't even recognize anything about tomorrow. 

[ts919]

For those that don't know, I'm in the process of divorcing my uBPDw (just retained a lawyer last week) and needless to say, things have been extremely awkward at my home over the past month or so.  uBPDw knows I want a divorce, and since then has been on her best behavior (for the most part).  Here's the thing... .our 2 year anniversary is tomorrow.  I am not planning on doing anything, as I am divorcing her.  It's making me sick to think about - I do indeed love her very much, but i know this marriage is extremely unhealthy, and that is why I'm divorcing her. 

Any ideas on how to handle tomorrow?  Just ignore it and pretend it's like any other day?  Should I do something small to recognize the day for her? 

This is so confusing - part of me wants to just "make it all better" again in my care-taking way... .and the other part says I shouldn't even recognize anything about tomorrow. 

[happylogist]

Hi, ts919, I wonder whether you have any plans? Are you sure "doing something small" will not be something like "push/pull" in the situation of an ongoing divorce? Also do you think your good intentions of acknowledging your anniversary will not be a trigger for another recycle and subsequent conflict?

[ts919]

Happy - I do not have any plans made; I think it would be very fake of me to do anything, and give a sense of false hope.  She's in a major pull phase right now as it is... .that would only make it worse.  I think the biggest thing is my fear of her reaction when she realizes i'm not doing anything or recognizing the day (seems silly to do anything since I'm going to divorce, she seems to think if she ignores the "divorce" issue it will go away).