Why didn't the judge agree with her?
In part answer to this, I'm going to refer to this:
Six kids,
and
I have a 2 bd apt coming up on Oct. 1st. A 3bd is as much as 800-1000 more and is not affordable at this moment.
And I understand it's complicated by the fact BPDmom is about to be evicted, but she has not yet been served with eviction paperwork yet, so it could be seen as not yet a real threat by the judge.
But the fact is in addition to the guardian's recommendation, you also have to demonstrate the capability to take in six kids. That's rough with a 3 bedroom apartment, and might not be seen by a judge as feasible. And even more so with a 2 bedroom apartment. Also, what schools are they in? Will the switch necessitate a change? What are they're ages? Is day care involved?
I think one thing you need to take advantage of this is that you've got to come up with a plan that you can demonstrate you can execute which will show that you can take them in and make sure they are taken care of. Show adequate housing, where they will go to school, how they will get there (bus services, car pool, etc.) who will take care of them after school (daycare arrangements, or home baby sitting, etc.). Show weekend arrangements. If you work weekends, what's your plan for who the kids are with?
I'd also google BPDmom and look for dirt. Her name + the word "mugshot" is a great place to start. Google the name of your county/jurisdiction + "online court records". You'll find a lot of jurisdictions now have court records online. You can look up civil and criminal cases against them, for free in a lot of cases, that show wage garnishments, small claims, evictions, etc. in the jurisdictions where they have lived. My SO found out her exASPDh had a recent DUI conviction doing a search like that. Once you find the online records, you can go to the court clerk and get certified copies of the case files to take to court.
Just remember you can't just talk about how bad the BPDmom is. You have to show the judge (especially for dad's) that you are the better choice for the kids. You've got to show you will provide for the kids better and it is in their best interest to be placed with you. Focus on the kids, how you plan to take care of them, how that will be better than how they are cared for by their mother, and how it will address the issues that led to the guardian's recommendation. Show visitation arrangements with the other parent. Show how the kid's needs and rights are being properly addressed. Show some kind of effort at counseling for the kids as well. If nothing else, Divorce Care for Kids is run for free out a lot of churches. Do some googling to see if you can find some options, dates, times, and a plan to get them there.
And again, focus on how you will care for the kids. You've already got the guardian's recommendation, you don't need to focus on beating up BPDmom now. Let the guardian's recommendation do that.
