Big Day Tomorrow

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Tomorrow is the day my ex says she's coming to get the rest of her stuff. She said there was only certain stuff she wanted and all of that stuff was already placed in the shed. There were a few things in the house she has mentioned before which I also placed in the shed so she has no reason to contact me later about them.

It's a little nerve wracking. I give it 50/50 she shows up and gets her stuff. If she does get it I'm sure it will be a punch in the gut but I'll finally get to start moving on 100%. If she doesn't it just means more drama at some point down the rd.

I don't know if anyone else has been through this but it feels like a chess match. I contacted her twice today. Once to let her know what I was putting in the shed which wasn't on her list of things. And to see if there was anything else she could think of which she wants because this is the last time I want her at my house. Second time was to let her know I put the stuff in there and I hope that satisfies her so we can end this train wreck.

The goal was to reaffirm that this is the end of the line in our relationship. When I'm not kissing her but she generally goes NC.

I'm just hoping I didn't push her so NC that she decides to hold off on getting her stuff.

[willbegood]

Tomorrow is the day my ex says she's coming to get the rest of her stuff. She said there was only certain stuff she wanted and all of that stuff was already placed in the shed. There were a few things in the house she has mentioned before which I also placed in the shed so she has no reason to contact me later about them.

It's a little nerve wracking. I give it 50/50 she shows up and gets her stuff. If she does get it I'm sure it will be a punch in the gut but I'll finally get to start moving on 100%. If she doesn't it just means more drama at some point down the rd.

I don't know if anyone else has been through this but it feels like a chess match. I contacted her twice today. Once to let her know what I was putting in the shed which wasn't on her list of things. And to see if there was anything else she could think of which she wants because this is the last time I want her at my house. Second time was to let her know I put the stuff in there and I hope that satisfies her so we can end this train wreck.

The goal was to reaffirm that this is the end of the line in our relationship. When I'm not kissing her but she generally goes NC.

I'm just hoping I didn't push her so NC that she decides to hold off on getting her stuff.

[Emelie Emelie]

I bet it's nerve wracking.  I didn't live with mine so i didn't have to go through that.  I had some clothes and things at his house but I told him to just toss them.  I hope she shows up so you can get this over with. 

[willbegood]

I bet it's nerve wracking. 

It really is! I know she's ill and there's a good person inside of her. So there's a part of me that feels bad for her and hates to let her go. But I know she'll never admit to being ill and will never go to therapy and I'm tired of being beaten down.

It's a real shame to see people go through this sort of things their whole life.

[Reg]

Hi willbegood,

I think most of us have all been there at one stage or another in the relationship.

What I've done, is to set a limit, in that way, that I did return some of her stuff myself after she didn't pick them up.  No need for contact, I just dropped it off, a text message, it's at your doorstep, and that was it.  Didn't react on her texts after that anymore either.

You said it yourself, otherwise it's just more drama... .

Reg

[willbegood]

It's odd because I always read about getting no closure from a BPD and I never thought I'd get it. Assuming she show's up today she's actually giving closure.

For the first time in this whole messy relationship, today actually feels like a normal breakup.

[Reg]

Willbegood,

I hope for you it is closure, but I'd say be not to certain about that, from her side that is.

The need for recycling is very big in many persons with borderline.  I do hope for you that she comes and that this is a part that can be closed.

Reg

[willbegood]

Well she came and got all of her stuff.   

She's on to a new man and black listed me or whatever you call it. So I think I'm in the clear for no contact and healing for at least a while if not forever.

So I guess it's time to heal and get my life back together.