She's Seeking My Replacement Already

[bauers220]

I do NOT know why I bothered to even look but I did... .good old Craigslist - there she is - not even hiding the long winded ad is her.  Today is day 3 and she is already posting looking for someone else - saying how she has yet to find "it" and has been told when it is time she would know ... .and how ready she is.

I know... .I KNOW this is par for the course... .aimed directly at me... .to hurt me.  And it worked.  Here I was earlier researching BPD more - feeling a sense of compassion and wondering if I had judged her too harsh.  Then the ad... .and now my own brain clamers ... ."maybe you weren't THE ONE", "maybe she didn't love you as much as she said she did"... .And of course I think - maybe she will meet someone else, fall in love and decide this is the person for her... .Then all my understanding, my giving, my forgiving, my love... .was for what?

Yes this was my choice to walk away.  She wants something that is close at times and distant at other times... .in other words she wants to call the shots on where the relationship goes... .when it goes... .how it goes... .when it gets close... .when its stop to stop... .WHO can live like that?

Not me... .I needed to vent - I'm hurting but nothing in all of that made me want to chase her down... .

[Bananas]

Hey b220,

Yeah... .it is painful.  I know how you feel.  My ex got married just 3.5 months after our "non breakup". 

What helped me, is to think of these actions as a reminder for how disordered they really are.  It is not you.  How much proof do you need?

Hang in there!