hypocrite

[lisasport]

Dated bp for two years. He cheated  a cupple times. Tried to text him and hes mad I'm on match.com  Even blocked me when I wasnt the cheater! I wrnt on match.com after he caught!

[NiceGuy83]

Hey Lisa,

Sorry that you've had to deal with that.  When a pwBPD splits black, they are often hypocritical.  It's no reflection on you.  They need to feel better about their own guilt, and will actually convince themselves that you never loved them, etc, etc. 

There's probably not much to be gained from talking to your ex about this.  He won't see reason, however in the right you are.  Do you feel able to just ignore him?

[bpdspell]

Hey Lisasport,

My ex cheated twice and I even found a woman in his bed. And still I wanted him back. I was sick and desperate for his love and attention. I even tried to play him at his own game by going out on a couple of dates. Those tit for tat games backfired as it triggered his bad behavior even more. I was at my wits end and wanted out but didn't want to face myself.

My question to you is: What exactly do you want from you ex?

Having a mental illness runs much deeper than hypocrisy. BPD is a serious emotional and attachment disorder where our ex's lack the capacity to connect on an emotionally mature level. They do not think like us and they are very emotionally unstable. They may look normal on the outside but they live with an incredibly disproportionate amount of shame, self-hate and abandonment pain. When they attach to others this is what we tend to experience in terms of the REAL them. Please do not take this sickness lightly.

I know their cheating hurts because it's betrayal. But BPD is runs deeper than cheating.

You cannot win with a BPD so it's best you look in your own mirror for answers as to why you desire to be validated by a person has hurt you one too many times.