heres my chance... child protection workers switching... what to write?

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

hey I just got this email from a child protection worker:

"I spoke to your wife yesterday, apparently you had already spoken to her about the job at a party you both attended, its unfortunate that you were not  forthcoming about that. Your wife has said that she has already told you that she is not interested in this job.

I also wanted to make you aware that I will be going into a trial for another case for about the next two months, so my colleague Child Protection Worker #2 will be your contact person for that time period and will be following up on the access piece after this week. I have cc'd her on this email so that you have her contact information.

Thanks,

Feminist Witch Doctor

Client Service Provider "

So I am thinking of what to write back... .In this email this 'new' worker will get a first look into my response. Firstly I want to say, they made this court 'no contact order', which means if we speak to each other, I go to jail... .So the fact that my wife told her we spoke (even though my wife never mentioned anything about not wanting to take over this courier job for a few hours a day), is alarming. She is asking why I wasn't forthcoming? Ahh  maybe because you threatened to throw me in jail and to steal our children and put them up for adoption?


So this is what im thinking of writing... .lets have a little fun with this (while being smart about the situation)

my drafted response:

"Hello,

I am not sure what my wife told you as I am not in contact with her. Why was I not forthcoming with me speaking to her? I think because I'm scared you are trying to find a reason to put me in jail, as you already tried to have my wife charge me which the police wouldn't do, because you have written lies against me in each affidavit, because you have taken the position my wife is a victim of domestic violence, versus the other option to say we were in a difficult marital situation and we both had to correct ourselves and then follow up with each side to reassure them the other side is doing their best to foster a positive future atmosphere... .Possibly also because as your JFCS co-workers have said "JFCS feels you have significant mental health issues" - which have already been refuted by multiple doctors. Frankly, as far as I see it, you are extremely against me just for being a man, and no matter what I say, you always automatically believe my wife, and you speak me in an obvious negative patronizing way as I have said to you in the past. At this point I am honestly expecting police at my door to arrest for in passing saying hello to my wife during a public community gathering and apparently asking her about a job that at that time I had barely even starting working at myself."

I am sure this needs revision but need some guidance here... .

The idea is that the new worker is going to take over the case and I want this new worker to get a fresh start seeing right away what we are dealing with her... .

[allblameonme]

hey I just got this email from a child protection worker:

"I spoke to your wife yesterday, apparently you had already spoken to her about the job at a party you both attended, its unfortunate that you were not  forthcoming about that. Your wife has said that she has already told you that she is not interested in this job.

I also wanted to make you aware that I will be going into a trial for another case for about the next two months, so my colleague Child Protection Worker #2 will be your contact person for that time period and will be following up on the access piece after this week. I have cc'd her on this email so that you have her contact information.

Thanks,

Feminist Witch Doctor

Client Service Provider "

So I am thinking of what to write back... .In this email this 'new' worker will get a first look into my response. Firstly I want to say, they made this court 'no contact order', which means if we speak to each other, I go to jail... .So the fact that my wife told her we spoke (even though my wife never mentioned anything about not wanting to take over this courier job for a few hours a day), is alarming. She is asking why I wasn't forthcoming? Ahh  maybe because you threatened to throw me in jail and to steal our children and put them up for adoption?


So this is what im thinking of writing... .lets have a little fun with this (while being smart about the situation)

my drafted response:

"Hello,

I am not sure what my wife told you as I am not in contact with her. Why was I not forthcoming with me speaking to her? I think because I'm scared you are trying to find a reason to put me in jail, as you already tried to have my wife charge me which the police wouldn't do, because you have written lies against me in each affidavit, because you have taken the position my wife is a victim of domestic violence, versus the other option to say we were in a difficult marital situation and we both had to correct ourselves and then follow up with each side to reassure them the other side is doing their best to foster a positive future atmosphere... .Possibly also because as your JFCS co-workers have said "JFCS feels you have significant mental health issues" - which have already been refuted by multiple doctors. Frankly, as far as I see it, you are extremely against me just for being a man, and no matter what I say, you always automatically believe my wife, and you speak me in an obvious negative patronizing way as I have said to you in the past. At this point I am honestly expecting police at my door to arrest for in passing saying hello to my wife during a public community gathering and apparently asking her about a job that at that time I had barely even starting working at myself."

I am sure this needs revision but need some guidance here... .

The idea is that the new worker is going to take over the case and I want this new worker to get a fresh start seeing right away what we are dealing with her... .

[DreamGirl]

Is there still a protection order against you?

Did you violate it when you spoke to your wife?

[allblameonme]

there is still a no contact order so I don't know what to make of this... .

We went to the same public function and the kids saw me and ran to me so at some point we exchanged some neutral words... .Both her and I feel this situation is out of hand, but during dysregulation stages (bi-hourly) she wants to enforce it, then she says its a big burden... .

I don't understand why she is talking to me as if its suddenly not a problem that we spoke to each other. Strange indeed.

Do not know what to make of it. Sent it to my lawyer he said "do not respond. Call me in the afternoon." waiting for his callback now... .

[DreamGirl]

So I would take that no contact order very seriously.

Regardless of what mood your wife decides that she is in.

My response to the email she sent would be:

CSP,

Thank you for the information, I will keep in contact with CPS #2 regarding the pending issues.

Respectfully,

[Insert Name]

Don't admit to anyone in that type of authority that you violated the no contact order.

Don't involve emotions in this, allblame. This is about seeing your kids again and accomplishing that as soon as possible. They need their Dad.

-DG 

[ForeverDad]

So I would take that no contact order very seriously.

Don't admit to anyone in that type of authority that you violated the no contact order.

I agree.  Don't 'admit' anything without specific legal advice from your attorney.  Why?  You may not have expected to meet her there, you certainly weren't stalking or harassing.  BUT the agencies and courts don't care about that.  All they care about is the letter of the law, that you keep your distance and if there is an incidental encounter then you maintain your proscribed distance from her, which probably meant you were to exit promptly.  If you say, "Yes, I did that but... ." then they will only listen to the first words.  They won't care at all about extenuating circumstances.

Sorry, you can't even be nice to her.  You need to fight your otherwise excellent qualities, she and her advocates will be sure to use them to sabotage you in too many ways.  Maybe you thought you'd be helpful to share the news of a job opening with her.  Guess what?  (1) She didn't care about it.  (2) Instead of being appreciative of your thoughtfulness, she complained about you to the agency.

I'm thinking your lawyer knows this is a sensitive juncture.  Being handed off to another staffer may be an opening to get the needed fresh eyes and honest review of your case.  It might be wise to present your case with a certain amount of bewilderment, being perplexed rather than accusing, stating the facts only, highlighting the fact that the allegations are still unsubstantiated, yet these many months later the initial no contact order based on the initial claims is still in place and hasn't really been objectively reviewed, etc.