An extreme way to ensure NC?

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

I couldn't trust myself to not contact my exBPDgf, so I did this which some may find extreme, but seems to be working for me:

1) I downloaded a keyword/website blocker

2) Using the website blocker I was able to block access to the manifold websites she has/contributes to (including a site where she allowed her hyper-sexuality to make pornographic videos of herself for masturbating punters - I also had to block her porn site username on google images as there were loads of still images of her on the porn site), plus her own youtube videos on research.

3) I then used the keyword blocker for her name and any associated keywords that might allow me to look at her online, in moments of weakness.

4) I never memorised her mobile telephone number (she has no landline), and so I just took the piece of paper it was written on and disposed of it

5) For the blocker I used such a convoluted password that I had to write it down (as they ask you to re-enter it), and then when everything was set up to my satisfaction, I burnt the piece of paper the password was written on.

As I say, extreme - but it really does help, particularly when I get the urge to revisit what I must realise was an illusion and never really a relationship that one might have with a healthy individual.

BUT... .

It hurts, it hurts like hell that I should have to go to such lengths to preserve my own sanity... .:'(

[houseofswans]

I couldn't trust myself to not contact my exBPDgf, so I did this which some may find extreme, but seems to be working for me:

1) I downloaded a keyword/website blocker

2) Using the website blocker I was able to block access to the manifold websites she has/contributes to (including a site where she allowed her hyper-sexuality to make pornographic videos of herself for masturbating punters - I also had to block her porn site username on google images as there were loads of still images of her on the porn site), plus her own youtube videos on research.

3) I then used the keyword blocker for her name and any associated keywords that might allow me to look at her online, in moments of weakness.

4) I never memorised her mobile telephone number (she has no landline), and so I just took the piece of paper it was written on and disposed of it

5) For the blocker I used such a convoluted password that I had to write it down (as they ask you to re-enter it), and then when everything was set up to my satisfaction, I burnt the piece of paper the password was written on.

As I say, extreme - but it really does help, particularly when I get the urge to revisit what I must realise was an illusion and never really a relationship that one might have with a healthy individual.

BUT... .

It hurts, it hurts like hell that I should have to go to such lengths to preserve my own sanity... .:'(

[Bananas]

swans,

i say do whatever works for you.  it does hurt but you must do what is best for you right now!  looking back i wish i had been more extreme because i had many failed attempts at NC, and every failed attempt left me suffering. 

[Learning_curve74]

Hey houseofswans, I'd like to applaud your ingenuity in solving your problem! 

Some people pay thousands of dollars to stay in inpatient facilities to kick their addictions, what you did doesn't sound anywhere as expensive... .If it works, it works! Best wishes to you.

[Escaped 30.Sept.2013]

Oh houseofswans, thankyou for this!

I had no idea such a thing as a keyword blocker exists, but I shall investigate it tomorrow (for a Mac... .).

I've cut off most of my access to miserably checking and stalking my BPD ex-bf or my replacement, but all the last seriously NC days I've been struggling not to google their names, or go to a couple of forums I know he posts on. As he always, always used his full firstname-middlename-surname on forums I should be able to block that well. And his new victim has an unusual name, so good success with that too I hope.

Brilliant.

THANKYOU!

[houseofswans]

Hi Escaped... .

I'm glad my *ahem* extreme method has resonated with you as a possible means to an end.

The blocker I used is free and works in the background (I'm on a Mac, so no worries there)

Very important: you need to set up a free email address (rather than your own regular one) as the log-in details for the blocker will be sent there should you wish (in a moment of weakness) to access it and use the password to unblock what you have blocked. This email (I think I used hushmail.com must then be added to your list of websites/keywords in the blocker, but only once you have set up the blocker to your own satisfaction. Then even in a moment of madness and you try to access hushmail, you simply won't be able to... .

Here's the link, and let me know if you need any assistance:

www1.k9webprotection.com/

Good luck!

[Escaped 30.Sept.2013]

Thanks very much!

I'm hoping that I can do it by willpower (because hey, he was wrong and I'm NOT fragile and weak!) but if not, it is really good to know there's a method to stop myself.

Basically, it's "me be well again" or "me know what he's doing" - not a tricky choice, put that way, is it?