Scared and Relieved

[julioagustin]

As someone not into social media or participating in chat rooms, I am weary of this entry... .and yet so very relieved to know that I am not alone on this journey.  Although what I have endured, I would not wish upon anyone; and yet there is great comfort in knowing that this "thing" has a name and that I am not, after all, losing my own mind.

Thank you for your fellowship.

JA

[whirlwinded]

I feel exactly as you do.  I am so relieved to learn that I am not alone and that there are others that have experienced the same.  If I did not know any better I would think someone was filming my life and posting about it.  Stories are all so similar.  I am grateful for this site so that I no longer have to question my sanity and second guess perhaps it was something I did. 

[lovespopcorns78]

Yes I agree, people can live with such secrets ... .It is like a film the common threads we have grateful for this site... you are not alone

[Dancing1]

I too had that same feeling. I can just take their names out and put mine in... I couldn't even explain it properly so that anyone could really understand what my dad to day living was like,, thank g-d I found this board! It helps me not to react and slow the process down a bit .

[winston72]

Hey JulioAugustin!  Welcome to BPD Family.  As the others have shared, I continue to find it to be a great comfort and encouragement to hear the stories and perspectives of others who have experienced similar relationships.  This is also the first internet site like this that I have participated in.  It is a bit of a risk to step into.  I must say, however, that the experience has been positive.  It is really helpful to listen to others and quite transformative to share parts of my own story and thoughts.

If you are so inclined, it would be great to hear a bit more about your own story.  Who is the person in your life that had you wondering if you were losing your own mind? 

[julioagustin]

Hello, Winston72 and others --

my own case is, perhaps, much more extreme as I have been in an exclusive monogamous relationship with a healthy man for over 10 years, yet he is unwilling (or unable?) to leave his BPD mother due to his own non-BP issues.  She has succeeded in running everyone in her life off, except him.  I have tried to help the situation, but she is in control of her household and has convinced her son that he must remain there or she will not last.  Talk about guilt!

Yes, I somehow found myself in a "to death do us part" relationship with someone with whom I do not reside.  I tried living in and helping that household, but alas, I was unable to remain healthy within the daily insanity of that family dynamic.  I live alone; he lives and cares for her.  I'm sure our friends don't understand us; I'm not sure I understand us and our choices.

Did I make the wrong choice by staying in the relationship?  It's sadly humorous, I guess.