Playing the "Healthy" Card

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

I saw some old messages from him tonight.

One of the things that infuriated me was the claim that dumping me and running back to the ex for the umpteenth time was "healthy," was a choice made "with a view to long-term personal health"... .when it was exactly the opposite.

Yet it's like he knew I spoke in psychological rhetoric, and so tried to "turn it around" on me and claim that everything he was doing (though it was entirely unstable) were choices made for the sake of mental health.

Just bizarre how he could spin it like that... .

[UmbrellaBoy]

I saw some old messages from him tonight.

One of the things that infuriated me was the claim that dumping me and running back to the ex for the umpteenth time was "healthy," was a choice made "with a view to long-term personal health"... .when it was exactly the opposite.

Yet it's like he knew I spoke in psychological rhetoric, and so tried to "turn it around" on me and claim that everything he was doing (though it was entirely unstable) were choices made for the sake of mental health.

Just bizarre how he could spin it like that... .

[Ironmanrises]

Umbrella... .

His inability... .

To self reflect... .

And in turn... .

Project that... .

Onto you... .

Is part of his disorder... .

Unfortunately.

Had he been able to self reflect... .

He would have seen... .

Immediately... .

That his actions... .

Are not healthy... .

And immediately felt... .

Remorse... .

Guilt... .

Shame... .

For such behavior.

The disorder... .

Denies him this ability.

I know it hurts.

It makes no sense... .

To us Nons... .

Because... .

We do not... .

Have such thought processes.

Hang in there.

[musicfan42]

UmbrellaBoy-a lot of people don't like hearing the truth! You probably told your ex the truth about his behavior and that caused him to retaliate.

My BPD ex called me narcissistic and abusive but it didn't bother me because I know that I'm not! Again, I know the truth whereas he is just a liar with a personality disorder to boot.

Oh and I also got told that I had "no empathy" in another thread on the leaving section!   (after I dared to offer some constructive criticism which is apparently a huge no-no). Luckily for me, I have a tough skin and I don't really care what people think of me. I just tend to think "fhit them" really...  

[DownandOut]

Every time I would try to speak to my uBPDexgf about the craziness going on inside of her she would just shut down and say "I don't know." She would also get agitated at me and tell me "What is this therapy?" All I did was try to help! It truly is like dealing with a child. A grown woman should not act like that. I did all I could to work on our issues and she put forth zero effort. Lack of caring? I don't know. I believe that it was fear of happiness more than anything.