Releases

[HappilyNeverAfter]

I was wondering if anybody had any ideas or suggestions on things that I can do to release from the emotional stranglehold my divorce has on me.  As I have mentioned, I coach high school basketball, so once the season starts, I will be able to devote my time there.  Currently, I am focusing on my boys.  I honestly feel that I am a far better single father that I was while married.  Unfortunately, I only have them about 75% of the time.  The days I don't have them are HELL.  Just wondering.  Thanks.

[Turkish]

I was wondering if anybody had any ideas or suggestions on things that I can do to release from the emotional stranglehold my divorce has on me.  As I have mentioned, I coach high school basketball, so once the season starts, I will be able to devote my time there.  Currently, I am focusing on my boys.  I honestly feel that I am a far better single father that I was while married.  Unfortunately, I only have them about 75% of the time.  The days I don't have them are HELL.  Just wondering.  Thanks.

While what you are doing is certainly laudable (I'm not being sarcastic), what do you want to do for YOU?

The first rule of first responders (in a crisis) is to take care of yourself. You need to take time to take care of yourself to enable you to take care of your kids.

[Jbt857]

Hi,

Well, I have no kids, no family nearby AND I work from home, so I'm on my own most days.

I exercise. Take baths. Read. Learn a language. Learn about BPD. Learn about myself. Meditate. Go for a walk. Take time to cook nutritious meals from scratch. Go see movies I enjoy. Hang out on twitter with my friends. Plan things I want for my future. Do work on what I want for my future. Love watching old TED talks, on all kinds of subjects. Come here and read, vent and understand, when I feel in need of it.

Think about what you want in the future for yourself and what you can do now to put yourself in the best possible position to achieve those things.

There's a whole world out there!

[HarmKrakow]

Do something completely out of your comfort zone and try to achieve a little thing it.

For example, you don't like running? Never did it or anything? Try to run a certain amount of miles under a certain amount of time. Or arrow-shooting, or whatever.

You need to trigger brain cells which have been sleeping during your marriage. The moment you will use them, that will feel awesome!

[Jbt857]

Do something completely out of your comfort zone and try to achieve a little thing it.

For example, you don't like running? Never did it or anything? Try to run a certain amount of miles under a certain amount of time. Or arrow-shooting, or whatever.

You need to trigger brain cells which have been sleeping during your marriage. The moment you will use them, that will feel awesome!

Yeah!

I used to love running, but stopped exercise when I got married.

I got rid of my ex and bought a treadmill. Worked up to running 5k 5x a week. Now I'm into crossfit.  I never had myself down as one of those exercise nuts, but I love pushing myself and feel so much better for it. There's loads of 30 day challenges online if you need to start small, but it's great to feel that sense of achievement. And it's yours. That feels good.

[HarmKrakow]

Do something completely out of your comfort zone and try to achieve a little thing it.

For example, you don't like running? Never did it or anything? Try to run a certain amount of miles under a certain amount of time. Or arrow-shooting, or whatever.

You need to trigger brain cells which have been sleeping during your marriage. The moment you will use them, that will feel awesome!

Yeah!

I used to love running, but stopped exercise when I got married.

I got rid of my ex and bought a treadmill. Worked up to running 5k 5x a week. Now I'm into crossfit.  I never had myself down as one of those exercise nuts, but I love pushing myself and feel so much better for it. There's loads of 30 day challenges online if you need to start small, but it's great to feel that sense of achievement. And it's yours. That feels good.

But also try mental exercises... .

The physical ones are often easy. You run, you create endorphines, you feel good.

[Turkish]

Yeah!

I used to love running, but stopped exercise when I got married.

I got rid of my ex and bought a treadmill. Worked up to running 5k 5x a week. Now I'm into crossfit.  I never had myself down as one of those exercise nuts, but I love pushing myself and feel so much better for it. There's loads of 30 day challenges online if you need to start small, but it's great to feel that sense of achievement. And it's yours. That feels good.

My ex hooked up with her flame due to their shared passion (*gag*) of running. I stayed home to take care of the kids... .during her day jaunts... .and then the night jaunts... .I guess if that is "ruined" for me, then that is about me, not her/them.

[Jbt857]

Yeah!

I used to love running, but stopped exercise when I got married.

I got rid of my ex and bought a treadmill. Worked up to running 5k 5x a week. Now I'm into crossfit.  I never had myself down as one of those exercise nuts, but I love pushing myself and feel so much better for it. There's loads of 30 day challenges online if you need to start small, but it's great to feel that sense of achievement. And it's yours. That feels good.

My ex hooked up with her flame due to their shared passion (*gag*) of running. I stayed home to take care of the kids... .during her day jaunts... .and then the night jaunts... .I guess if that is "ruined" for me, then that is about me, not her/them.

Well, yes, I can see why you'd be averse to running under the circumstances!

But that's okay. I don't listen to certain songs because they bring up bad memories and I feel he's ruined them for me. In time I'm sure I will be fine with them, but for now, they are a no-go.

It's not a 'never' just a 'not right now'

[eyvindr]

Way to go with the CF, Jbt!