Both times she left for other people she told me our relationship was ugly and meaningless. That I hurt, betrayed her and wasn't "present" in the relationship.
That was true the 2nd time (present) only because she cheated on me and physically assaulted me. How could I be fully present?
I think it's all a bunch of words. They need to paint you black when there is a replacement. As soon as mine realized it wasn't going to work (she said watching the way her ex comb her hair made her cringe) she ran back. Texted me 50 times on a car trip from Minnesota to Illinois.
They are always looking for something "better" when they see you are human and have faults. I see painting black as a protection. It makes them feel better and justifies their decision. A week earlier she told me my friendship was irreplaceable and she loved me very, very much and was attracted to me but "we should see other people". Funny how within a few days, replacement there and wants nothing to do with me.
It is easy for them to discard and easy for us to take it personally because we are loving and co-dependent. But all it is are words. That's all. Their actions never match up.
Again,your story matchs with mine.
She reproched me the same things... .that i hurted her like no one before,that she always had to "wait" for me moving my a$$ to build up something with her,that i was not present (even worst,that i was present
only for sex and cuddles... .been hurting for me,a lot).
For her everything is been a very good justification for her triangulation with this other man (30 years older,never had sex with... .a very good person when i had the chance to know him better... .we had some conversations... .she stopped to give her attention as soon as she was starting her "guilty-game" with and after he discovered all her lies and exagerations... .she's still try to hook him but he never replies to her messages and stuff ((hey man tell me how u doing pls!))... .because he gave her all those things i was not (attenction,affection,a shoulder where to cry,trust).
So yes... .she started to look for something better destroyng my image in the while... .and yes,me too i think is the only way they can go on... .they NEED to paint us completely black... .maybe to don't feel guilty... .i don't know... .they have no memories about how they were thinking at us BEFORE,when we were so special?
Off course after i discovered what was going on between her and him she turned again... .again sweet and caring... .again "love forever and after"... .a (very expensive) romantic week on the mediterranean sea and i was again her "soulmate"... .then,painted completely black again.
