i wish i was stronger and not so gullible

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

my ex with uBPD sent me a text this morning about the child support payments.  she wanted to go through the courts and its taking directly out of my account.  i found out later that because of Columbus day, its one work day behind and she will get it today.

what bothers me though is that she said during one of my texts to her, i said "f it".  i told her i didn't but she insisted i did.  i then checked the texts in my sent and draft folders and it wasn't in any of them. 

she then forwarded me the text.  in it "f it" is written before one of the texts i sent her.  however is wasn't a text that was forwarded to me from her phone.  she took my original text, re-wrote it and added "f it" in front of it.

she still has the power over me that makes me doubt myself and make me think i was wrong even though i knew i didn't text it.  she is the most convincing liar i ever met.

[Baylor218]

my ex with uBPD sent me a text this morning about the child support payments.  she wanted to go through the courts and its taking directly out of my account.  i found out later that because of Columbus day, its one work day behind and she will get it today.

what bothers me though is that she said during one of my texts to her, i said "f it".  i told her i didn't but she insisted i did.  i then checked the texts in my sent and draft folders and it wasn't in any of them. 

she then forwarded me the text.  in it "f it" is written before one of the texts i sent her.  however is wasn't a text that was forwarded to me from her phone.  she took my original text, re-wrote it and added "f it" in front of it.

she still has the power over me that makes me doubt myself and make me think i was wrong even though i knew i didn't text it.  she is the most convincing liar i ever met.

[hopealways]

It's called gaslighting and they are master manipulators at that. You are not alone my friend! Mine did the same all the time.

[maxen]

that's appalling, cjack. does she really think anyone will believe that? i hope she's not saving it to use in court, because you shouldn't have to deal with the aggro but also because it'll collapse immediately.

i have one. my stbxw accused me of calling her too fat to have sex with.

me: i never said such a thing.

she: i have the email.

me: really? send it to me.

she: no.

[Baylor218]

im really glad i found this site.  i have learned so much.  i am just blown away that people take the time to respond and i really appreciate it.  however, reading other peoples stories and posting my own is becoming difficult.  im starting to cry almost every time and i dont know why. 

[Ironmanrises]

im really glad i found this site.  i have learned so much.  i am just blown away that people take the time to respond and i really appreciate it.  however, reading other peoples stories and posting my own is becoming difficult.  im starting to cry almost every time and i dont know why.  

In bold.

The frightening reality... .

Of seeing... .

What you thought... .

Was only happening to you... .

And seeing that very reflection... .

Repeated... .

In various flavors... .

And colors... .

But with the same exact ingredients... .

From complete strangers... .

Makes this horrific nightmare... .

That much... .

Very real... .

Unfortunately.

You are crying... .

Because... .

Now you see... .

Your pain... .

Fully expressed... .

In all of us... .

The same exact pain... .

That you are undergoing... .

And that knowledge... .

Hurts... .

To realize... .

Because... .

You... .

Like us... .

Dont want anyone else... .

To feel... .

What we are feeling.

That is our compassion.

That is our empathy.

Hang in there.

You now see... .

You are not alone.

We are here for you.

[ts919]

My uBPDw does this same thing all of the time!  We had a money issue a few weeks ago, and during the conversation she claimed that she has asked me on several occasions to involve her more with our money and that I've told her "no" every time and that I told her she is not allowed access to our accounts.  I asked her how I was blocking her from our account since it was a joint account (she obviously has full access to it) and she told me she is locked out online because she put the wrong password in... .how that constitutes me "blocking" her from accounts is beyond me. 

I then told her that I have never told her "no" with regards to get involved with out money; in fact, it's been quite the opposite.  I've asked her on several occasions to be more involved, to sit down and go over stuff with me and help me out, only to be told no by her and that she just prefer I take care of it. 

After pressing her for a while she finally admitted that she made it up, that I had never actually refused to go over our finances with her... .only to recant a few minutes later and claim it was all true again when I didn't accept her yelled apology.   

I could go all day on this one... .

This happens so often in my house it's made me question my own sanity on several occasions!