Getting Started

[Maltacar]

I'm happy to have found your website.  My daughter suffers from BPD.  This is very challenging for her father and I.  What makes it heartbreaking is she is the mother of our 13 year old grandchild who we are very close to.  Over the years she has used him as a pawn to punish us.  I need tools to help me cope with this complicated situation.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[pessim-optimist]

Hello Maltacar,



I am glad you have found us, AND I am sorry you are going through this... .Having a child suffer from mental illness is hard, and with grandchildren in the picture, is gets complicated. 

There are many of us here in a similar situation, you have found the right place to share and to find support.

When you look to your right, you will see lots of links to useful tools that you can explore. Let us know what specific questions you have, and we will be happy to point you to the appropriate links.

Also, please feel welcome to keep posting and sharing in your thread and if you want in other's threads as well.

How old is your daughter? Has she been formerly diagnosed?

[Rapt Reader]

Hi, Maltacar, and I'd like to join pessim-optimist in welcoming you to this site. She had a great suggestion to you to check out the links to the right-hand side of this page; they will give you the tools and techniques you need, to learn how to understand and deal with your daughter.

I'm so sorry for the pain that the relationship you have with her is causing you; it's terrible that she sometimes uses your granddaughter to try to control you. As a grandmother myself, I know that a situation like that is so sad and hurtful. I am on this site, actually, because my adult son (36) was recently diagnosed with BPD, and the first things I read on this site were these links:

Communication using validation. What it is; how to do it

TOOLS: S.E.T. - Support, Empathy and Truth

I found that once I understood how his mind works, and learned the correct way to communicate with him so that I didn't push every button that he has, he began reacting differently with me, and things started to get better immediately! You are so wise to come here and want to learn the tools and techniques so that you can deal with your daughter better... .And I can tell you for sure, it really will help. Please continue to tell us your story and ask your questions, and read everything you can; we are here for you