One Year Ago Today...

[asher2]

For me, it was one year ago today my ex and I broke up for good. Today also marks one year since I last saw her. Since then, she has made a couple of lame attempts to contact me but I have not responded. I haven't heard from her in a couple of months.

One year ago today, I remember her coming over to my place and crying her eyes out. I opened the door for what would be our last talk and her eyes were already red from crying. And when we talked, she cried almost the entire time. A couple of days earlier, I had caught her cheating on me and had basically cut her off. She proceeded to tell me how much she loved me, how much she wanted to be with me and how much didn't want to be with the guy she cheated on me with. Now, a year later, from what I understand she has moved half way across the country to be with him.

You know how I'm doing now, one year later? In one word, "awesome." Yes, I still think about her but it is not at all with the emotions I had a year ago. I see her totally differently now. I now see her as a very broken person and someone who is very empty on the inside. I no longer lie awake at night wondering what she's doing and quite honestly, I now feel SO fortunate the relationship ended. She had me 100% believing in her charade. Boy am I lucky it ended.

For all of you that are in the process of detaching from your BPD, hang in there and know it gets better. I remember reading so many times early on that time heals the wounds and the mess these people leave behind. I'm here to say that is true. It is such a freeing feeling to know that I'm no longer tied into constant drama, half-truths and crazy mood swings. My life is so much more on an even keel and I'm so much more at peace.

For those of you that need some encouragement, hang in there. I am proof that it does get better.

[houseofswans]

Thanks for your post, Asher. It was just what I needed to read as I've been feeling very emotional today 

[asher2]

houseofswans... .hang in there. Like I said, a year ago my world was rocked. I'm 35 and never been such an emotional mess as the way I was for a couple of months after this was all over. But it does get better. I also learned it is a process. You really do have to take it day by day and accept that some days are better than others.

Keep doing healthy things (getting back into working out helped me a lot) and be sure to surround yourself with other people who support and love you. It is OK to lean on others as you try to get through the pain.

[eyvindr]

Asher2 --

Congratulations!

You know how I'm doing now, one year later? In one word, "awesome." Yes, I still think about her but it is not at all with the emotions I had a year ago.

For all of you that are in the process of detaching from your BPD, hang in there and know it gets better. I remember reading so many times early on that time heals the wounds and the mess these people leave behind. I'm here to say that is true. It is such a freeing feeling to know that I'm no longer tied into constant drama, half-truths and crazy mood swings. My life is so much more on an even keel and I'm so much more at peace.

For those of you that need some encouragement, hang in there. I am proof that it does get better.

Good to hear from you -- thanks for stopping by.

e.

[Waifed]

Asher

Your post means more to many on here than you will ever know.  Thanks for sharing!

[Bananas]

Asher,

Thank you so much for taking the time to come back and write this.  I am seven months out and although I have mostly good days I do ask myself if I will ever feel "awesome" again.  Thanks for the hope and inspiration.

-Bananas