Are they aware?

[necchi]

Here is and another question for you my friends, they must be aware that they are sick people ? My uexBPDgf kept telling me i was the bordeline that between me and her whe knew who the real sick person is, that " I" ruined the whole relation when i wasthe one  ending it because i knew she realy didn't understand all what she was putting me through.

[goldylamont]

i would think levels of self awareness differ from person to person. mine knew something was wrong with her, but for most people the consensus is that they tend to blame everything on the partner. there may be lucid moments of awareness on their part but seems most of the time they won't admit much past this. then of course i see a few people where their partner is professionally diagnosed so they are definitely aware, however doesn't seem to change the script much in many cases. your situation seems to be similar to many (and mine) where the ex literally tells you that you have a mental illness and that everything is your fault. projection: it's almost a cliche

[Waifed]

Here is and another question for you my friends, they must be aware that they are sick people ? My uexBPDgf kept telling me i was the bordeline that between me and her whe knew who the real sick person is, that " I" ruined the whole relation when i wasthe one  ending it because i knew she realy didn't understand fu &£ all what she was putting me through.

Talked to my "P" about this today. I asked him if he saw pwBPD.  He does. (BTW, he is the person who told me she could be BPD). He said almost all of them believe they have a poor "picker" when selecting partners and it is NEVER their fault when relationships end. He told me that when I suggested to her that she was a pwBPD she probably thought I was the one who was crazy.

[Turkish]

i would think levels of self awareness differ from person to person. mine knew something was wrong with her, but for most people the consensus is that they tend to blame everything on the partner. there may be lucid moments of awareness on their part but seems most of the time they won't admit much past this. then of course i see a few people where their partner is professionally diagnosed so they are definitely aware, however doesn't seem to change the script much in many cases. your situation seems to be similar to many (and mine) where the ex literally tells you that you have a mental illness and that everything is your fault. projection: it's almost a cliche

What goldy said. Mine is high functioning, and is searching for what is wrong with her. She knows about her emotional dysregulation, the emptiness... .she's wrote about it (things I found), and told me. She also hates it. She searches... .but ultimately backs away from the self-diagnosis. She is sorry for what she did and is doing (cheating and abandoning me... .she became the embodiment of her own fears, basically)... .but last night she went out to the club after we put the kids to bed. That is her medication. To connect. Just not with me anymore, since she's discarded me permanently. Due to us co-parenting for the rest of my life, I will always be here, waiting until she hits rock bottom (which she knows is coming... .she's said it to me in so many words, but is compelled to go do it). At that point, I will judge just how much I can lead her to the truth. It may never come, however. At this point, I am ambivalent about what I want for her in the future, other than to be healed. That is for her, because I know we will never be together again.

[thisyoungdad]

To be really honest, part of me really hopes my ex is not aware (but I think she is really aware unfortunately as she has had many professionals suggest it and she is a medical professional herself) simply because to be aware on any level of the harm, pain, ruin you are putting yourself and those who care about you through, must be horrible. Especially if you want to be different but feel like you can't. I really don't think that a vast majority of the time my ex is malicious and cold to me. I think much of the time she really wants to treat me the way I deserve. I say that from things she has said to me. It would just be so hard. Much like when I got sober from alcohol. Once I realized I was an alcoholic and could admit that, but before I got sober, the pain was so much more real and just sucked so much worse feeling aware but out of control. That is kind of how I see it.

[qwaszx]

mine knows, shes aware, and is trying to "fix" herself... .goes to group and therapy, shes trying to change and learn to accept her flaws, and self as someone who isnt perfect. she can admit when shes wrong after... long after its finished and shes stable again... .but it takes that time to get back into herself... .when she is up she wants to believe there is no down, that she has healed and wont fall again... she is aware of her action, but doesnt understand how it effects anyone else(no empathy), only rarely does she fully admit to everything, but i have also had her apologise to me, for things she has said or done to her ex's... instead of confronting the person shes wronged.