Intro

[Lars321]

I have been married for 18 years and have 2 children.  One is 13 and the other is 8.  We relocated due to work about a year ago.  My oldest daughter, who was then 12 became depressed and was bullied severely in school.  We found in February she had a plan to kill herself.  We immediately sought treatment/therapy.  She shortly there after began cutting and scratching.  It was severe.  She was not only cutting she was carving saying into herself like, all alone, i am worthless, I am unloveable, fat, ugly etc. She says that she does not deserve to live.  She has been hospitalized three times and is no better now than she was.  While doing research we stumbled upon BPD.  As I read the descriptions I felt like they were specifically talking about my daughter.  I shared it with my wife and continued to research.  She also felt the BPD descriptions were dead on.  We called her therapist and he said that he had suspected it.  My daughter has been on the brink of death since February and she continues to severely self harm.  I don't even know if her therapist is capable of treating her.    

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[123Phoebe]

Hi Lars321, thank you for joining our community.

It sounds like your daughter is struggling mightily and for that I am truly sorry.  It must be heartbreaking for your family

Have you heard of therapies specifically designed for people suffering with BPD?  Here's a link with descriptions: BPD: Treatments, Cures

Perhaps you could ask your daughter's current therapist if he's familiar with this or could put you in touch with someone who is?

There are members here who understand what you're coping with and they will be more than willing to share their experiences with you, with a compassionate ear.  Do not hesitate to share more of your story and concerns and ask for guidance... .

Please keep posting; we're here for you!

Truly,

Phoebe

[peaceplease]

Lars321,

I would like to join 123Phoebe in welcoming you to the bpdfamily site.  I am so sorry that your daughter was bullied and is now self harming herself.  How traumatic that must be on all of you! 


When a child suffers from BPD, not only is the child unhappy and unhealthy, but often, so is everyone who loves them. This mental illness can severely affect everyone, creating drama and heartbreak, while also piling on the guilt and anxiety. The good news is that there are answers to these problems, and we are here to offer you the support and encouragement to help you find them. You'll see that there are things that can be done to stop making things worse and begin to make them better. A great place to start is with this set of resources: What can a parent do? We look forward to seeing you on the Parenting a Son or Daughter Suffering from BPD board and hope you join us in learning how to understand and communicate with our children better.


Please hang in there!  Also, remember that you need to take care of yourself, too.  I look forward to seeing your future posts when you are ready.   

peaceplease