adult sibling with BPD

[Kit kart]

Good Morning! I have an adult sister with BPD. My question is how far do I let her illness progress toward bottom before I try to intervene on her behalf? I have tried to involve the police when I thought she might harm herself. She has a background in criminal justice, so she knows what to say to convince them she's fine and doesn't want to go to a hospital. My other sister tried having her committed for an evaluation. She was in the hospital for several days, given the BPD diagnosis, and released. She has no money, no way to support herself. How do I know what her bottom is? I certainly don't want it to be suicide. She has many medical problems in addition to BPD and is in chronic pain. She's also verbally abusive and has been physically aggressive in the past. Part of me wants to drive to her apartment just so she'll assault me and I can call the police.  She needs to be in a supervised setting, but it seems that unless she breaks a law, the police won't do anything... .Any ideas or suggestions would be most appreciated!

[peaceplease]

Kit kart,


.  I am glad that you found our site and decided to join our community here at bpdfamily.  I am sorry for your sister's illness.  :)o you know if there was an aftercare plan for treatment for BPD in place when she was discharged?  Has she consented for you to get information?

I would not recommend instigating her to assault you.  It is one thing if she happens to assault you, then you call the police.  IMHO, I am wondering if the police would just cite her for the assault, and not push for a psycholocial evaluation at hospital.  

It is obvious how much you love your sister.  Unfortuantely, your sister has to want treatment.  She is an adult, and you can't force treatment on her, unless she is involuntarily committed. (and, then it is only to stabilize her, and will let her go)

Here are some links to get started on learning more abut BPD, in case you have not seen them, yet.  Video-What is Borderline Personality Disorder?

Video-Tools to Reduce Conflict with a person suffering from BPD

You may not be able to change your loved one with BPD and force them into treatment, but you can change yourself and relationship. I have an adult daughter that I suspect has BPD, and I felt many of the same feelings that you are experiencing.  How do I get her into treatment?

Here is another link, it may sound like someone more in a romatic relationship, but you can apply it to a family member.  Facts About Borderline Personality Disorder

And, this is one on top quesions about BPD:  Top 50 most often asked question

Your sister has an illness that can negatively everyone in the family system, including children, siblings, and in-laws. Senior members on the [L5]  Coping and Healing from a BPD Parent, Sibling, or Inlaw board are experienced with and can help you with setting boundaries, finding relief from FOG, encouraging self-care, improving your handling of relationships impacted by your BPD relative, and pursuing a path of recovery from traumatic experiences. The validation, information, and support will give you strength on your journey.

Yor are not alone, and will find there are others who understand what you are going through.  You will find much support here.  I hope you will come back and post some more when you are ready.

peaceplease