My wife's daughter recently dx

[Parents! Get help here!]

My wife and I happily married 2 years. Her daughter now 33 has been trading for some time and recently following the birth of her 2nd child has aggressively followed the pattern of BPD. My wife and I are talking with an experience therapist for guidance and my wife originally devoted by the tirade is now doing well. We are both saddened.

The issue is grandchildren who love their grandma very much. Their mother has demanded an apology and blocked phone numbers. In any case grandparents who have experience in how to maintain a healthy relationship with the kids would be very helpful. What works…...

sad to find that so many are in this hostage type of situation but glad that you are here.

CloselyWatching

[watchingclosely]

My wife and I happily married 2 years. Her daughter now 33 has been trading for some time and recently following the birth of her 2nd child has aggressively followed the pattern of BPD. My wife and I are talking with an experience therapist for guidance and my wife originally devoted by the tirade is now doing well. We are both saddened.

The issue is grandchildren who love their grandma very much. Their mother has demanded an apology and blocked phone numbers. In any case grandparents who have experience in how to maintain a healthy relationship with the kids would be very helpful. What works…...

sad to find that so many are in this hostage type of situation but glad that you are here.

CloselyWatching

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[watchingclosely]

trading should be tirading. 

[peaceplease]

watchingclosely,

.  I am so glad that you found our site.  It is great that you and your wife are talking to a therapist. 

I am a grandma, too.  My daughter has kept my grandson away from me for one day.  However, I am the only one that she has, and she needed me to watch my grandson.  So, it was more of her need for me that she didn't keep him away for long.  And, I am sure that it killed her pride to call me to watch my grandson. 

As grandparents, you  can provide your grandchildren with a loving, stable environment. 

What is she demanding an apology for?  Can she validate her "feelings" and apolgize for what her dd is feeling.  IMHO, I would apolgize, if it means the end result is to see your grandchildren. 

Here is a good link in reducing conflict:  Video-Tools to Reduce Conflict with a person suffering from BPD

Here are the top questions asked about BPD:  Top 50 most often asked question

When a child suffers from BPD, not only is the child unhappy and unhealthy, but often, so is everyone who loves them. This mental illness can severely affect everyone, creating drama and heartbreak, while also piling on the guilt and anxiety. The good news is that there are answers to these problems, and we are here to offer you the support and encouragement to help you find them. You'll see that there are things that can be done to stop making things worse and begin to make them better. A great place to start is with this set of resources: What can a parent do? We look forward to seeing you on the Parenting a Son or Daughter Suffering from BPD board and hope you join us in learning how to understand and communicate with our children better

I look forward to seeing your future posts and hope to see you on the parents board.