blocking his number-need support

[Aw511]

I have decided to block his number. I am so heartbroken over having to do this. Partly because I desperately don't want him to paint me black forever, and I know when he realizes I've blocked him that's exactly what is going to happen. I want this nightmare to end. I am sick of crying. It seems to be getting worse by the day. Please tell me it will get better... .

[ShadowDancer]

Not only did I block but I eventually HAD TO change my numbers 3 TIMES, my e-mail 3 TIMES, changed my mail to a P.O. Box and rented my property out and moved to a secluded gated location. The analogy would be I burned the castle to save the village.

It got better IMMEDIATELY!

P.S. I'm now painted so black that I bought a flashlight and reflective clothing! I say BRING ON THE NIGHT!

[lockedout]

Don't feel bad about blocking it. Do what you need to do to take care of yourself. Deal with him another day.

[Aussie0zborn]

I don't believe you can't control their behaviors. If it is to be that you will be painted black, then it will happen regardless of you doing the "right thing" or not. The focus needs to be on you. So what you need to do for you to start healing.

[Neverknow]

Block it and consider changing it.  My ex BPD w, called me out of the blue, a couple of months ago, after a year of NC.  Of course, she wanted something, and I would have never answered it if I had known it was her.  I didn't answer subsequent calls, deleted the texts she sent (asking to get back with me) and I realized I had to change the number if I didn't want it to happen again.  And, I don't.

They never really go away.  Mine left me for an ex-husband, but acted like none of that had happened when she called me.

[heartandwhole]

Aw511,

I'm sorry that you had to do that, I know it hurts.    Think of it as taking good care of yourself.  You can't control the splitting behavior, it could happen whether you block or not.

We're here for you. 

[Aw511]

Thank you all so much. Thank you for reminding me that the splitting would have occurred whether I blocked him or not. He's been doing it all along, I don't know why I would expect it to be different. He continues to control my thoughts even when he is not around. Pathetic on my part. I am just struggling to accept that he is really as screwed up as I have realized. We were on good terms a week ago until I didn't respond to a drunken 3am "I miss you" voicemail from him. Suddenly I am the bad guy again. I hate it. I know that blocking will begin heal my heart. I just hope I can stay strong through it. We have no close mutual friends but many many mutual connections as we used to work together, so I feel like I have to block myself from all social networks too. My yoga studio is right in his neighborhood and I feel sick now every time I go, which breaks my heart because it used to be my safe haven and now I don't even want to go anywhere near it. 

[numbr3]

AW511

You are getting better by just taking this step.  Good for you.  You need to take care of yourself first.  He will paint you black and he doesn't even need a reason.

I blocked my phone numbers 2 yrs after our divorce.  I continued to listen to him berate me for an hour and a half.  All because I didn't want to be rude or hurt his feelings by just hanging up on him.  Kind of crazy on my part but I fell for it every time.

It will get better-you don't have to stress when the phone rings because you know it won't be him.

[hopealways]

I have decided to block his number. I am so heartbroken over having to do this. Partly because I desperately don't want him to paint me black forever, and I know when he realizes I've blocked him that's exactly what is going to happen. I want this nightmare to end. I am sick of crying. It seems to be getting worse by the day. Please tell me it will get better... .

It does get better.  You have tremendous courage to block the number. It shows strength to be able to do that not weakness.  Build on that strength.  You will be stronger than ever.

[Learning_curve74]

I am just struggling to accept that he is really as screwed up as I have realized. We were on good terms a week ago until I didn't respond to a drunken 3am "I miss you" voicemail from him. Suddenly I am the bad guy again. I hate it. I know that blocking will begin heal my heart. I just hope I can stay strong through it. We have no close mutual friends but many many mutual connections as we used to work together, so I feel like I have to block myself from all social networks too. My yoga studio is right in his neighborhood and I feel sick now every time I go, which breaks my heart because it used to be my safe haven and now I don't even want to go anywhere near it. 

I identify a lot with what you wrote, Aw511. My exBPDgf tried to make me the "bad guy" too a couple of times. And like you mentioned the yoga studio being a safe haven for you, many of the the hobbies and places I used to enjoy which helped me find peace were all things I shared with her too, so I lost a lot of the ways I coped with being stressed and unhappy -- I find it difficult to do them without thinking of her and all the bad feelings bubbling back up.

It's okay to feel bad, Aw511... .You sound like a kind and sensitive person, however you need to be kind to yourself and also take care of yourself as much as you can now. We'll be here to help support you too.