Will she return?

[VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?"]

 Has anyone had a BPD ex dump them, block their number and Facebook and come back?

I am not wishing for a recycle.  In the past 18 mo she has dumped me five times with the last time running off to an ex and literally blowing up my phone on the way home from that same ex. 

I am just curious.  She has always said, it's over, you treated me poorly.  Leave me alone or I will file a harassment order. 

This time she was very cold, called me a self absorbed bhit and cut me out completely. I am surprised she didn't change her number. 

Anyways, still reeling she dumped me before my birthday.  We share mutual friends and went out last night.  Not me and the ex me and my friends.  I just don't know what to expect and it drives me nuts.  In the past she did this to another ex who she started talking o in the middle of our relationship.   

I know I need to stop obsessing. 

[Pretty Woman]

 Has anyone had a BPD ex dump them, block their number and Facebook and come back?

I am not wishing for a recycle.  In the past 18 mo she has dumped me five times with the last time running off to an ex and literally blowing up my phone on the way home from that same ex. 

I am just curious.  She has always said, it's over, you treated me poorly.  Leave me alone or I will file a harassment order. 

This time she was very cold, called me a self absorbed bhit and cut me out completely. I am surprised she didn't change her number. 

Anyways, still reeling she dumped me before my birthday.  We share mutual friends and went out last night.  Not me and the ex me and my friends.  I just don't know what to expect and it drives me nuts.  In the past she did this to another ex who she started talking o in the middle of our relationship.   

I know I need to stop obsessing. 

[heartandwhole]

Hi earth angel,

I'm sorry about your breakup – right before your birthday, that is rough.  That hyper-vigilant, looking over the shoulder feeling is so uncomfortable. 

Have you decided that you are finished recycling?   

[Pretty Woman]

Hi there.  I really don't think I have a choice in being recycled.  This time she has cut all communication.  She originally came over and calmly told me we should be with other people, that she was not attracted anymore.  We broke several times and she's never severed contact like this (she did not change her number but blocked mine). 

I think this is the end. Then again she is friends with all her exes so who the hell knows!

[fromheeltoheal]

If she's in a place where she needs some soothing you might show up on her radar, and she may turn to you.  If she does you can be sure she will act as if nothing bad ever happened between you last you spoke.  There's a lot to be said for living in the moment, and a borderline takes it to the next level by disregarding the past and the future entirely.

But if she does come back, expect things to be exactly the same as they were, complete with a maybe shorter idealization period at the beginning.  Do you want that again?  Are you giving her all the power to come and go as she pleases and you'll just accept it?  Will you be able to create a reliable, stable long term relationship based on trust and respect with this gal?  Is that what you want?

[frag1911]

I don't think you're obsessing, but just feeling the trauma of the break up.  I personally, would just take the opportunity to say goodbye to the whole situation.  And yes, I know that's easier said than done.  You were victimized, not loved. 

Why accept her renting space in your head, when you can accept that she left on her own, it wasn't your fault, and you have friends, shared or not, to spend time with while you heal?  Just make it plain to them that you don't wish to talk about her and that you don't want to go to gatherings, events, etc., where she will be also.  They should understand and be supportive of that for you.

Be well, sleep, and wake up with the sunrise.

[Suzn]

I really don't think I have a choice in being recycled. I think this is the end.

You have total control of being "recycled". This isn't something that is done to us, it's something we participate in. It takes two for a recycle.